So ive been in an on off relationship for 4 years now and my bf wants to move in with me bcz we are more stable now things are better and we both want to build a family together . The sex was great the first 2 years I just feel like its not the same anymore. I am a 29 yr old female with a great libido and I feel like a monster lately because I feel like the sex we have is not enough for me. I tried talking about it and it made him upset. it really hurt him. The reason why I kept it from him is bcz i didnt wanna hurt his feelings. So he kept telling me you dont like it anymore? I dont get it because you are always wet ect ect you are horny and I thought I was doing it right. I told him yes I am horny Yes i get wet bcz i want to have sex ! Its just that I orgasm rarely now ..I told him you dont put the same energy like before. I told him spice it up lets role play like before. I just feel like we only have sex when he wants when he is horny and im not refusing it bcz im always down for sex but like ….i have no say in it… its like i have to wait to be alone and masturbate to have an orgasm. Thats been my life this past year. And it hurts me because i know he loves me so much and i love him too.. i just feel miserable.I know that he tried changing some stuff and hes always asking me did you cum or do you want me to continue even after he came. But that worsens it. It makes me feel awful. It makes him feel unmanly and it makes me feel like a monster. 1 day he took half of a blue pill or something and i didnt know about it and i guess it was his first time but i was like whats wrong with you like his dick was acting weird i knew something wasnt normal until he told me what he did. I felt so weird and he told me i just wanna pleasure you the way you want the way you deserve 🙁 it got so bad that I dont feel like having sex with him even tho I am sexually super active. I just get turned off. Guys am i normal??? Like is this normal or am i the only one going through this “rough sex patch” bcz everything else is fine is perfect.. im just scared that if it continues maybe my relationship will get affected.
TL;DR : I just want my sex life to be like it used to. Right now I just feel like I have less fun like I have to act like Im enjoying myself even tho we talked about the fact that its not like before.
2 comments
In my experience it is very normal that the sex life changes over certain period of time. Happened to me in any longtime relationship. However if it is becoming a problem, and that sounds like it, there is no easy solution. Talk openly about your needs and wants and maybe there are other ways. However a healthy sexlife is one of the main pilors of any relationship and if it doesn’t work out, you sooner or later will cut/cross the line. In one way or other. Same as I did.
It sounds like you are trying to discuss the issue but your bf is seeing is as criticism maybe? Like anything in a relationship it will change over time. Sounds like bf has become a bit complacent or perhaps taking you for granted. When you do have sex how hard to you make him work? Would he enjoy being teased/pushed to work for some action? If so you could try that. Reminding him about the thrill of the chase may be enough to show him what you have been trying to tell him.
If/when you do move in together it will change again. Keep the lines of communication open is the only real way to work through it.