TL;DR: My bf and I of 2.5 years have had arguments that go in circles starting from the first few months of dating. He gets very mad if he does something that annoys me and will stay mad until I apologize.
For example, we have been living together for 2 years and this past week was our last in our current apartment, moving into a new apartment. I’d been telling him all week that I was kind of overwhelmed with setting up everything such as internet, renters insurance, electricity, setting up the move out, as well as packing everything. I’d asked him to specifically help me with small things like taking things down from the top shelf to pack them. Even then he would move them to a lower shelf for me to pack. Two days before we moved out he came home at 9:45 PM after hanging out with his friends instead of helping me pack. I told him that this upset me and that I’d spent the whole week doing everything and feeling like I’m going through the process on my own. He did not apologize and said he didnt think they’d stay out so late and that he rode with someone else so it wasn’t his fault. Then the day before we moved out, I come home to him sleeping on the couch instead of packing. So by this time, yes, I’m annoyed and said “hey we have a lot to do, we don’t have time to sleep.” To which he got very mad bc he apparently didn’t feel very well (which I’ve been sick all week) and needed to rest bc he “knew we would get it done”. Which we did, but we had to stay up until midnight to get it done. Also bc I spent the whole week doing everything. So now he expects me to apologize for waking him up with a frustrated voice instead of gently nudging him and politely telling him to please help me. He also says it’s partially my fault that he didn’t help bc I didn’t explicitly ask him to.
I just don’t want to keep fighting like this forever. Other than that he’s a very nice guy, adventurous like me, ambitious, thoughtful, and my family likes him. I just don’t feel an “in love” connection. Does anyone think I can/should salvage this?
6 comments
I only read the tl;dr. You guys started fighting a few months into the relationship and now have been together for 2.5 yrs..why did you put up with this??
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> I’d been telling him all week that I was kind of overwhelmed
How much time do you need to pack?
Sounds like a narcissist. They don’t change, you just need to stop dealing with them
If you’re not in love then what’s the point of being together?
I suggest next time things like this happen, set your boundaries prior to it getting out of hand. In this case you can tell him that you need him to help you and that he needs to arrange himself according with his life etc before this process starts. And if he still doesn’t gaf about whether or not he’s helping and coming up with stupid excuses then I suggest it’s time to consider things… my bf is also like this when it comes to doing the laundry, cleaning the house. But still he ends up doing it because it’s not fair for me to do it all. Your partner and you are a team and you should be helping each other. Instead he is being a lazy ass