Just to start English Is not my first language so excuse the errors 🥴….My husband feels I should cook Every night .. we both work full-time jobs .. sometimes I work 12+ ..we both share household chores ( although I think I clean better ) . But for some reason cooking always falls on me. I do admit it’s my fault I’ve always cooked .. I’ve fallen for the excuses of him not knowing how.. “ it isn’t as good as me “ but its 2022 watch a youtube video Dammit! …I’ve expressed to him recently more than once how it isn’t very fair and that he could cook at least twice a week…I’m tired too! it also doesn’t help That he is no help….while I slave away in the kitchen.. He is playing call of duty and screaming at the tv . He gets to relax until dinner is ready and when it’s done… He’ll half ass wash the dishes! On nights when I absolutely don’t feel like cooking I’m hit with a nasty attitude .On those nights he refuses to pick me up from work and often says “ fine I’ll just order myself something.. Worry about yourself “ which drives me insane and it hurts my feelings . Even when I’m upset with him I always feed him… I’m Being dramatic? I feel like there is some form of abuse going on here but im
Not sure .
10 comments
Ur definitely not being dramatic… I’m siding w u
Why don’t you order out a couple of nights and give yourself a break? I do all the cooking in our home but I’ve also pretty much never washed a dish or done kitchen clean up, my husband does that. We usually go out for a dinner date weekly and order in one night so we get a break from kitchen duty. Your husband needs to understand that he has to contribute to the household and your marriage equally, and not just play video games and be waited on hand and foot. If talking doesn’t get through to him I would start ordering out and telling HIM to worry about himself.
Your husband is in the wrong. If you both work equally, you should share household chores equally – including cooking. If he won’t help you, just cook for yourself.
Ask him why you have to do more work than him. If he comes at with with excuses like “I don’t know how” or “you do it better”, tell him he needs to learn. Cooking is just following a fairly simple set of instructions. Anyone with access to a timer (and a stocked kitchen) can cook.
Find super easy dishes. Stuff you will eat even if he screws it up. Make him make them. No excuses. He can’t be a baby.
I’m a guy and I do most of the dinners. I do simple recipes and clean most of the dishes while cooking. If you tell me what restrictions you might have… I might have suggestions.
He needs to learn to use the grill. Grilling some meat and veggies are easy and putting a salad together is a no brainer.
I had to sit down with my husband and children and ask them if they thought it was fair that I spent an hour working on dinner every night while they relaxed. They agreed that did not seem fair. I gave them the choice of learning to cook something or be in the kitchen cutting up ingredients or helping in some other way, or they could do cleaning tasks while I cooked.
Cooking every day is exhausting and that doesn’t include the clean up. I try to cook every other day. I make enough for lunches too. I usually make sure there are things on hand to throw together a quick meal if needed. Friday and Saturday is every man for themself. We have a rule that whoever cooks the other one cleans.
Don’t let him use weaponized incompetence as an excuse. If the dishes are still dirty, let them pile up to the ceiling. He can do it. You are not his mother. He should be an equal partner.
I am sorry you are going through that. It’s not fair
That is some messed up sexist expectations. It’s his responsibility to learn how to cook, he’s a grown man! And you’re right, all he has to do is watch YouTube videos and actually try. You’re not being dramatic. It’s so unfair. He sounds immature
I would be really annoyed if my husband thought he can have such demands or say what I should do.