I (25F) am the oldest of six kids and no longer live at home. My mom (42F) is a single mom and has no job and has always drank throughout my whole life. Last Friday I got a text from my sister that my mom apparently drank so much she shaved off her eyebrows and had broken a glass cup and cut her wrists. Now I was hesitant to believe my sister because she does exaggerate sometimes but after talking to my mom’s boyfriend it is true. I haven’t gone over to talk to her about it yet but I know she already gets pretty upset when people try to talk to her about her drinking. I know no matter what I say to her she probably won’t take me seriously but if she keeps going on like this her liver will go out or she will hurt herself. How do I get her to listen to me?
TL:DR Mom drank so bad she hurt herself, already hates people talking to her about it, I need to talk her about it.
2 comments
Try to preface the conversation. Really any time you’re saying something remotely controversial, you should preface it with something that will make the other person aware of what’s going to happen next and how it might not be an easy conversation.
You could say “Hey mom, can we talk? It’s not something that’s necessarily going to be an easy conversation, but I’m hoping we can just talk about it calmly and try to come to an understanding.”
Of course you don’t have to be too formal. You also can’t expect it to go perfectly, because it’s really tough for people to recognize their behaviors that affect themselves negatively.
You can also try texting or writing a letter. Be nice and write with clear sentences. Make it long and cover everything all at once. This will give her the chance to look it over without needing to be by each other when she has her initial reaction.
You can put yourself through this and talk to her but she won’t quit. If having 6 kids wasn’t enough to get her to be a decent mom and stop drinking a few words from you won’t cut it.