this might seem obvious to some of you but to me it isnt. just now a friend of mine and i were playing ping pong and we lost track of who was serving next (two at a time), i started to serve because i saw him serve like 3 times without counting and when he saw me do this he started screaming at me calling me an idiot and getting super angry saying that he only served once. we lose track of whose serve it is all the time but he freaked out this time and i was really confused by this and also really shocked by how angry he was. i told him i saw him serve like 3 times (which i was hesitant about because i have bad memory and i feel like prople prey on that alot) he was so upset and it made me feel honestly like crying. i didnt know how to respond other than to tell him what i saw and how what hes saying didnt add up because it didnt. just kept yelling at me not listening to me so we finished the game and i didnt say anything to him just walked back to my dorm room. so my question is am i just sensitive or am i right for not wanting to be friends with someone like that? is that normal for friends to do or not? i feel like i dont know whats the proper way for me to be treated in relationships and i feel like i must be so stupid or just sensitive to agression. was he gaslighting me? why would someone do that
5 comments
This guy sounds like he just wants to be in control. And that’s a red flag. It may be small but it sounds like he will crave dominance in the future. If you allow to get worse, than there will be a bigger blow up.
BTW you aren’t sensitive when standing up for yourself and honestly hate that word. Of anything your friend is sensitive since he can’t receive correction.
Flimsy is so right. I would like to add that as a person we all have dignity and it’s our duty protected it. You did the right thing, specially leaving in my opinion, because no one that disrespect for no reason you deserves your time. The more people you meet the more you will learn how to deal better with these situations, because there will be many that will act like he did. The hardest part will be dealing with your own emotions after the situation and not blaming yourself. Many people that are triggered easily lose control of their emotions and unconsciously will try to control someone else. Now also when y’all were playing were ya talking about something else or just focusing on the game? Sometimes if one of the two mentions something random, maybe to them is a trigger. I seen how a guy and girl be eating or chilling or doing something and one would mention about a person they like or dating or politics or religion or whatever, and the other person turns from best friend to loud rude enemy in a second.
You should always be treated nicely and if someone’s angry it you by doing a tiny mistake idk if it was a mistake even then he’s treating you like shit
Go speak to your friend… “I apologise if my actions made you feel angry. In future, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t shout at me as this really triggers me and I felt upset…hugs/hi five’s”
If your friend doesn’t respond in kind LET THEM GO!
Ain’t nobody got time for people that don’t respect them enough.
Let us all know how you get on. Best of luck.
Sounds bad