I can talk to girls on call but not in real life

6 comments

1. Next time you talk to one of your friends take notes on what you say and how you think you say it. Everything comes with repetition and practice, if you don’t know why you can’t talk to girls (especially cute ones), then don’t try to know and just practice not caring anymore.

   If it helps find a few ones and accept looking funny to them, failures help growing and learning. My best advice would be, accept doing what you fear doing and roll with it, practice improvisational talk, practice small talk, practice any kind of talk at all.

   Good luck

2. Try approaching it in baby steps. Instead of just phone calls, how about FaceTime / Discord where you can see their faces on the screen? That really helped me become more comfortable chatting with someone in real life.

   Just a quick example – I started a podcast that gave me the space to talk to complete strangers over zoom (most times, with video on). It was terrifying at first, but keep showing up and practicing. You gradually start to relax and focus on just being present and enjoying their company.

   The whole cute girls thing – it’s because you care too much about what they think of you. It’s funny – the more you relax and almost approach it with a “I don’t mind where this conversation goes” attitude, the more effortless it gets because you’re just there to get to know them rather than being hyper focused on yourself.

3. It’s because you like them and don’t want to fck it up with them. It’s normal to be nervoud around the girls you like.

   Try adding some flirting in there and see how they react? If they react positively then continue with the flirting, if not then back off.

   Ok, some tips – flirting is playfully teasing the girl while keeping a “sensual vibe” through eye contact, voice tonality etc. It’s holding eye contact few seconds longer than is comfortable..

   You can also do double meaning remarks but be very careful with them because you can fall into the sleazy guy category.

   If you want then I got a lot of support [from this book](https://www.reddit.com/user/SoundFoxstripe/comments/oootgp/how_to_date_any_girl_ebook_free_for_limited_time/) when I got back into the dating (was in a relationship for a long time.. kinda lucked out with a girl from school but didn’t have any other experiences).

   Helped me a lot in terms of approaching girls, keeping interactions going, flirting, asking for a date etc..

   Just remember – always be aware of how comfortable she is – if she shuts down then back off with the flirting and if she flirts back then you can be even bolder with the jokes etc.

4. Why should any person, especially guys, have trouble talking to girls. Girls are just normal human beings like the rest of us. If this is how things are going to be, that every guy is scared to talk to girls, then I don’t know what direction society is going to go.

   You have to talk to girls just like any of your friends. There’s nothing special about girls. If a girl is not interested in talking to you, or doesn’t care about talking to you much then there’s no point in talking to her anyway.

5. Maybe you feel afraid of being rejected by them, so you try to do everything “perfect” and keep overthinking about how you’re feeling and how you think the girl is feeling about you.
   If this is the case, just don’t do it, talking to people is a chaotic environment and being rejected is normal, surely it hurts, but it hurts less if you don’t create expectations about it before talking to a girl, the more you care about being rejected, the worse it gets when you get rejected.
   Just be yourself and pay attention to how the girl is reacting, create expectations after you build intimacy with the girl, not before.

6. Well I can talk to people irl just not on call unless its a house phone and not a voice/videocall.