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Life, it’s difficult sometimes.
Documentaries
I never understood how people can believe it’s rainbows and unicorns in the first place.
The lack of observable unicorns.
Marriage
The Flying-Monkeys and Tear-gas.
Waiting for a proposal when he left me.
When the good die young, while the wicked live forever.
What a weird thought to feel the need to post something like this.
Basically the minute you’re old enough to realize you have responsibilities that aren’t enjoyable. So maybe age 4 when your mom tells you to clean your room before you are allowed to play with your friends?
When I went to Vietnam
As I became older I slowly realized that I needed to have some way of sustaiming myself. My peers were getting cars and part-time jobs while I couldn’t even cook my own food. Now I’m not saying I’m totally self-sufficient but I believe I’m more independent than I was in high school.
The world did…?
Elementary school.
I could go on and on with examples like the following. When I lost a very close grandparent to cancer at age 6. When I witnessed my dad beat my mom with his closed fist. When I had to wrestle a loaded deer rifle from my drunken fathers hands while he was trying to off himself.
The death of my father.
I did my taxes for the first time.
My childhood.
I played club lacrosse most of my childhood. Of course, the way I grew up I believe in general that those around me were generally good. One day I’m high school, my club coach sent and email explaining that he’s cancelling our fall tournaments because he doesn’t have the heart to ask for the club dues again. He explains that the financial guy who has been best friends with my coach since they were kids (my coach is about 60 now) has been stealing money from the club team for awhile now.
That’s when I knew even the best people aren’t “the best”
Being sexually assaulted the first time as a child.
Me failing uni, get dumped because of her depression, me getting fucked over by dad and now sleeping on a very uncomfortable couch because nobody in family plans this shit and no room or privacy. Me having to cook for the family all the time, me having to watch diabetes of my younger brother and I have a few more. At this point I contemplate the worth of my life. What more shit do I have to deal with! So done with this. I want out!
Did anyone actually start off thinking this way? Maybe it’s because I was an abused child, but I’ve always assumed the world was shit. And I have been proven correct at every turn.
Probably all the rapes did it.
Yeah. Most def the rapes.
I don’t think I ever lived in that fantasy world.
When I was going shopping with my mum and she said we had to be careful with what we buy because we only had $100 in the account, that’s Australian dollars too so about $68 American. My dad worked every day including weekends most of the time and we were hardly able to get by whilst my parents marriage crumbled. Stuffs better now thankfully, but I don’t forget those days
Getting beaten by older kids when I was 6 years old probably
When I accidentally killed the last unicorn under a rainbow
Being bullied since 4th grade did wonders on shattering any misconception that the world is a good place.
The world is a dark and evil place, full of bad people. The best thing we can do is carve out a space in it and provide light and goodness for our children and hope they do the same.
When my dog died when I was a child.
Well, I’m a person of color, so I had to learn about sunshine, rainbows and racism pretty early on. So I would say around 5 or 6 years old.
That’ll take the rose color out of your lenses real quick.
It’s not all bad, sure we don’t live in a fairy tale but the world is what you make of it, you can look at the bad or the good or your own blend, personally I used to be depressed the world as a whole (or maybe just America) sucks but now I just focus on the moment what’s happening right now where I am with who I’m with and life is undescribably better.
When the people I loved; my friends and family started to die. Either by old age, drugs, murdered, and suicide.
When I rented my first house and struggled mightily to make ends meet
I took a closer look at people, and didnt like what I saw. The closer you look the uglier it gets
I think there is an underlying secret that makes all of society functions; we just kill people when we need to, silence their voices & forget about it
Catholic grade school/shitty father
My childhood.
Living long enough
Starting to work, car trouble, and relationship trouble
I was 15 I was friends with this kid who had older brother who was around 16 to 17 at the time who had green impala and sold weed and other drugs. I was walking from corner store my friend and his older brother pulled his car asked me did I need ride home it was 4 mile walk from my home to the store by the way. I told them I be find I need to walk anyways so they pulled off and and stopped at the red light down the road 1 minute later a suv with roughly 5 to 6 guys drove passed me pulled up next to my friends brothers car at the red light and shot up the car and speed off both my friend and his brother died.