So I’ve been seeing this guy since April (F29,M28). For the first month we spent lot of time talking on the phone, getting to know each other etc, we had only one official date and since then just bootycalls. We kinda meet up every 2, max 3 weeks but no dates. I spend the nights at his place, we talk and joke a lot, lots of cuddles etc but nothing more, we even stop chatting by phone. Last time we met he decided to introduce me to his friend and his girlfriend, we had dinner together at their place. It was a bit weird. I’ve always been in relationships and I tend to get attached easily so I tried hard to keep emotional distance from thin. I see no reason for him to do something like that and then go back to the usual midnight texts “you up?”. The thing is, he’s a lovely guy, smart, funny and a really good person. I don’t want to catch feelings for nothing so, what’s the best way to end this situation? Basically something that says it’s either dating or goodbye, I don’t want to be too direct
TL;DR: how to tell a booty call date me or don’t text me again?
8 comments
If you aren’t direct, he won’t know. Tell him you either want to date and get serious or you are done. It’s really that simple. If you don’t respect yourself and stand up for what you want, no one will.
Why skate around what you want? “Hey just wanted to mention that I’m looking for XYZ. I understand if that’s not where you are currently. But if you’re not, we need to end this”
That’s it.
Let him know your feelings have changed and if he’s not interested in something more then you’re out.
Be direct. Be too direct. It’s the only way through.
You’re too old to be wasting time on game-playing bullshit. You *know* you’re not well-equipped for casual sex. Stop trying to pretend to be that kind of women when you know it doesn’t work for you!
He’s sending signals you cannot clearly understand. Ask him what the relationship is to him right now, and where he sees it going. That is the only way you can decide if this is something that suits you or not.
Why are you afraid of being direct? Why put yourself in positions where you’re potentially forced to settle for less than you really want?
Be direct…he blurred the lines with introducing you to friends, you didn’t do that.
​
Be honest, “hey, meeting your friends made me feel like we were a little more than just booty calls. What are you looking for with us?” It might be awkward, but you deserve an answer.
Men sense that emotional distance you’re doing to him so why not get some booty is his thought…why would I as a man want to date a girl clearly keeping a distance from me. You’ll need to knock that off and tell him you’d like to have more of a real relationship and not much more to it. If you want to “end” the booty call thing. Just say you’re not interested in a booty call type relationship anymore and boom, you said what’s on your mind.
This is how men work, You say ABC we understand ABC.
Women tend to say one thing but mean the other, never directly say what they want, expect us to be mind readers and frankly it’s time you just say exactly what you said here to us, right to him.
I think you need to be able to communicate your needs calmly and clearly. If he doesn’t meet the expectations you have, then you should move on. FWB is fine if you’re both okay with it, but it feels like you’re catching feelings and unless you bring it up, it’s going to eventually eat you up.
You’ll risk putting yourself out there by bringing it up, but it’s important to you and if he respects you, he’ll listen and discuss it with you.