so i (26M) have been singled out as weird, awkward and even creepy at time because of the way i relate to others.
i have a small number of friends and i am not much of a conversational person (more of the listener type) so i’ve been labeled a “people-pleaser” on several occasions.
the other day at work we were sharing personal experiences about school/college and people were just looking at me like i was an alien and shaking their heads in shame, 2nd hand embarrassment or whatever because i didn’t do some of the stuff they did or just because what i did back then was weird/cringey to them.
when this happens i usually just don’t hang out with anyone for some time till i feel like i can be sociable again
this probably stems down from the fact that i was being talked down as a child. my opinion didn’t matter, my choices weren’t respected, none of what i ever said was considered seriously it was always what my parents/peers and siblings said that was the “best” option for me.
due to that i have not been able to make my mark even as a 26 yo man.. my parents still expect to have a say in everything i do.
i know they mean well but it’s draining at this point
i feel like living life at its fullest, signed up for the gym and trying to be more sociable without creeping anyone out
i am also currently experiencing a terrible heartbreak due to how i easily attach myself to ladies who may just be nice to me and i want to stop all this and be a better version of myself.
any help/comment/question is welcome
1 comment
Well, what your parents “expect” and what you actually give them can be two different things. So, give them what a normal man would give them at your age. Share what you feel like sharing, don’t fill them in on every last detail. Keep some things to yourself. Make your interests and expectations more important than theirs (except for big family events.) Don’t overexplain yourself if they complain or push back. Just be your own man.
As far as being more social, I’d start in a smaller situation. Example, going to the grocery store. Make eye contact with the cashier. Light up a big, genuine smile (internet search genuine vs fake smile. Genuine involves your eyes), say “HEY, how’s it GOING?” with extra energy and friendliness. Be aware that the energy you give off is usually the energy you’ll get back. Realize how much you control that. Do this every time you have a transaction of any kind. Add a comment, a compliment, a bit of humor. Realize YOU can dictate the tone of any interaction, just through increasing your own energy level, friendliness and WARMTH.
I’d start there. Good luck!