i used to be very good at socializing as a kid but now, i barely , and when i say barely, i mean **BARELY** speak.
my family, my parents, they’re not abusive or neglective n stuff. if anything, they’re amazing. they gave me an amazing upbringing filled with love. i don’t hate them at all. i’m definitely the problem
sometimes, i unintentionally starve myself because i can’t seem to tell my parents what i want to eat when they ask me. i tell them “i don’t want to eat”, but in reality, i am hungry.
im always in my room everyday, except for when i shower, brush my teeth, practice hygiene, go out with friends etc. (also i’d like to mention that i DON’T have problems communicating and socializing w my friends.)
whenever i need my parents’ help, instead of asking for their help, i just try to find my own solutions and end up just giving up bc i can’t do something without their help.
why am i like this? how do i “fix” it?
im currently hungry and i want to try rhe chicken alfredo from that new pasta shop that just opened nearby. i want to tell my parents that i’d like to try it but here i am, lying on my bed, at 5:55, starving, having eaten nothing for the whole day.
2 comments
My son was a bit like this and he spoke with a therapist for a while. Some of things he started to do was place himself outside of his room. He sat on the couch and just immersed himself in the family. At the time, I didn’t know he was told to do this. Anyway, because he was out there, literally and figuratively, more conversations happened. Maybe this would be something for you to try?
Socializing is like a muscle, it will get easier to do with practice.
You also spoke about asking for help – that you try some solutions, they don’t work, you give up and don’t ask for help. This is a bit because you’re transitioning from a child to an adult. You’re not 5 and you’re not yet 25, so you’re kinda stuck in the middle. To become a full adult (and it sounds like you parents definitely are), EVERYONE (including your parents)has to ask questions, ask for help. Try things that don’t work, so they try some else. Don’t isolate yourself by thinking you must have or come up with all the answers. Literally, nobody does that. And even consider telling your parents about your way of thinking. Ask them for examples of when they needed help, maybe went to their own parents. It might help break you out of that thought pattern.
Good luck to you 😊
Could be a desire for independence? Like wanting to look after yourself, do things your own way? Sometimes there can be pressure from parents to fall in line with what they want and teenagers often feel a need to express themselves, even though that can harm them sometimes. As you said that doesn’t happen with friends, possibly as there is no pressure there.
How would you feel instead of asking them to go out, could you say to them you want to go, and would they like anything? (If you have money).
Hopefully you are eating independently at other times, you don’t want to end up avoiding food permanently until it affects your health. Are you happy to eat with friends?
Maybe try writing things down for your family if you’re unable to speak with them? Have snacks in your room to tide you over?