I feel so helpless and don’t know what to do. I’ve watched porn ever since the beginning of high school and I am 22 now. I’ve seen a lot of perverted stuff…hardcore, extreme domination, and just big guys fucking short, petite girls. Fast forward to now, I can’t believe it, but I’m in a relationship with the most loving girlfriend ever. She is so beautiful and cute and sweet to me. Our sex is great, but I suffer a lot from insecurity, which she doesn’t really know the full extent of.
For one, my height is 5’7 and my gf is 5’2. Our height difference is perfect and makes sex and kissing/hugging so easy. But because of porn, I’m only used to seeing extreme height differences and pure domination. As a result, I am very insecure about my height in our relationship…sometimes, I see taller guys and get insecure imagining my girlfriend fucking them. All because of porn. I hate it.
I just see sex as a power dynamic thing now. Not a form of intimacy. And it’s so terrible because my girlfriend is so amazing and loves me so much. I have terrible self esteem and it makes it so hard for me to believe deep down inside I am enough for my girlfriend…even with my short height or lack of barbaric, masculinity. Because of porn, it is hard for me to grasp that my girlfriend loves me beyond my physical features.
How can I reprogram myself to stop thinking like this? Obviously, I am trying to get therapy. But I don’t know what else to do. It affects me every minute of my life. I see any other guy and I get insecure. Any advice?
8 comments
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Maybe try watching more realistic amateur porn so you can see actual people with realistic bodies having actual sex. Also remember that porn actors are casted for their bodies and use a lot of special lighting/angles/makeup/surgery to make everything look better than reality.
I’d see a sex therapist. How people react to porn is individualistic. And people often blame their problems on porn rather then getting to the root of the issue.
What’s different about my relationship to sex and porn that’s different then a person who observes the same thing and has a different reaction.
Blaming our issues on porn won’t get one, one step closer to fixing the problem.
Nothing is destroyed your brain is the most resilient organ and anything you trained it to do can be untrained
Try to understand that professional porn is fantasy entertainment. Perhaps, you should watch a behind the scenes video on how porn is made. The guys have a difficult time lasting long so they do the cum short first. The guys frequently use viagra or other drugs to stay hard. The women have makeup artists make them look very different from their normal self. They make several scenes and take breaks in between. Sometimes the camera guy does the cum shot in a closeup and no one even noticesx. They splice it together and it appears so macho dude just screwed a model in six different positions for thirty minutes straight.
I saved the post of a male porn who talked about how he likes to make love to his girlfriend.
You are fine just the way you are.
Read this post.
[Male Pornstar on How He Make Love to His Girlfriend ](https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/ccxmnw/so_im_a_male_porn_actor/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Let’s build your self-esteem starting now
You were born at the start of the 21st century and the internet era. You’re one of about four billion men on the planet.
You’re young and healthy and alive and able. You can run, jump, you can get hard, you can dance.
You have so much. Nobody’s trying to kill you. Life is good.
Wait, but you also have this incredible girlfriend and you guys chose each other!
Man, you’re off the chain
Fuck porn. You’ve never met any of the sad people involved with porn. It has nothing to do with your life
My husband is 14″ taller and a really big guy. We love each other and have a great sex life, but our size difference has created a lot of challenges that we’ve had to overcome. I have a hard time straddling him, we can only kiss during sex in 1 position, and standing sex can only happen if I’m wearing ridiculously high heels and that has to be a planned thing. There are a lot of things we can’t do, or are very tricky that I took for granted in past relationships. Enjoy the flexibility.
Also, take the advice and watch amateur porn. Even that is going to be more put- on than what some people want to do.