A bit of backstory. My gf(24) and I(24) have been together for 3 years. Recently we’ve hit a bit of a rough patch.. I set some boundaries with her and after a lot of tears I thought we were okay.. lately though I haven’t been very sexually active with her.(still kind of upset because there’s been some boundary stepping.)
A couple of days ago we were cuddling and she presented her rear to me for a lil slap (this is a common thing for us). I said no (because it’s starting to feel like an obligation) and she got really upset. I asked her why it upset her and she told me that when I don’t do that it makes her feel ugly, disgusting and unwanted. I tell her everyday that she’s beautiful and all that but she said that just makes her feel worse. She then brought up the lack of sex and she said she understands that I don’t want to but it makes her feel like crap. Which I get…
I don’t want her to feel like crap. I wound up caving completely and went all the way with her. She did say I didn’t *have* to. The last two days though I’ve been thinking it through in my head and it just doesn’t feel right. Any advice?
TL;DR : My gf wanted me to slap her butt, I said no and she made me feel like if I didn’t I was making her feel disgusting and ugly. So I submitted and now I feel tricked. Any advice is welcome
2 comments
Honestly, can’t give advice if you don’t go into what started this in the first place which is boundary stepping. I assume some cheating happened?
You need to focus on the root of your issues, which doesn’t sound like a butt slap at all but your lack of sex which is due to you not feeling like having sex with her due to her overstepping boundaries and the residual feelings you have about that.
Assuming this post is real, you slapping her but should not have so much power over her mental wellbeing, that puts a lot of pressure on you to do it even when you don’t want to and is not a healthy way to obtain self worth from another person.
It sounds like she’s insecure. If you feel like you’re doing anything you don’t want Id say something directly