im 20 and currently living with my alcoholic father, who is divorced from my narcissistic mother and has isolated himself from his friends. he doesn’t put any effort into talking to anyone and doesn’t know too much about my life.
my bf told me tonight that he loves everything about me except my family situation. he says i should spend more time with my father and be more nice to him—it’s weird that i don’t do so.
my response was i am nice to him, but he’s been an alcoholic his entire life. i’ve tried to change him and support him through his alcoholism but it hasn’t made any difference. it’s ultimately up to him to become sober. i’ve finally realized through therapy that i need to prioritize myself and it doesn’t make me selfish by doing so.
keep in mind, im a full time college student with a part time job. it’s difficult to find time to hang out with people, and i don’t like to be around my father when he’s drunk in general.
my bf’s comment hurt my feelings. it also annoyed me. what should i say to him? and does my argument make sense at all?
2 comments
Stuff like this is why I only hang out with other people from screwed up families. Normies just don’t understand and will never understand.
Ugh. I’m sorry you’re going through this. People from healthy families just don’t understand. Just take it with a grain of salt and share everything that your father does with you as it comes up, then ask if he would have done it differently. I have found that people back off when they realize how toxic the parent is.