How to get over 3rd Wheeling so I can get back to my life

This did NOT turn out the way I thought it would, and it has affected me greatly to the point that I have been functioning less than I usually do for the past 1.5 weeks.

Friends with both the parties, know them both, and they’ve hit it off. Cool. I’m genuinely happy for them, they both deserve someone that makes them happy.

Enter me. At first I was sort of a conduit between both as they tried to figure each other out and I was a mutual friend. Now, a few short weeks later, I feel as though I have been used of all my usefulness and now no longer matter.

There was a part of me that knew this was going to happen—3rd wheeling is natural when you’re a mutual middle friend, and I tried to distance myself from the beginning. Both parties tried to pull me back in probably because I was the main friend of both; gave them some security. I was too kind and did so. What pisses me off about that is that now when its all said and done, I’m left hang to dry and now I’m expected to back out when they are both fine with it—both do not check in like usual nor talk much like usual. It feels like I was only expected to back off on their terms, instead of letting me back out in the beginning when it was when I was trying to do it to protect my own feelings.

I know logically that when people fall for each other, especially this fast, it is expected that the friend take a back seat. But I am still unable to help feeling really used and abandoned. I honestly feel really horrible, because I talked to both almost daily and now it is almost none or very little checking in. I am also ashamed because I am part of the upper 20s crowd, and I feel like this is such a teenager problem but I honestly can’t do anything to invalidate how I feel. I have had physical anxiety symptoms such as sleeplessness and restlessness, stomach pains, and overall fatigue and not able to function at 100% on school and work. I do not want this to get in the way of my daily function. I am also starting to grow resentment to both and also regret of building friendship that now seems to have dissipated in a mere few days. I will admit that I do not make friends very easily, at least not with this closeness, and I am also worried that this experience will make me more wary of forming other friendships in the future—but maybe this would be better for my sanity to keep distances between people.

I have tried to pull my focus to my other friends, other groups, and other activities to get my mind off of it, but they have lasted half a day at most. I’ve even tried moving away from socials that involve both so that I can refocus on work.

Bring on the words of advice, and be easy on me if possible. Sleep deprivation makes one sensitive.