I noticed I carry some shame about not having been in a relationship before . I’m not sure how that comes across to not have relationship experience in your mid 20 ‘s , seems like it’s kind of a red flag . And I feel like 30 is the cut off age to where it won’t really be accepted, to the point where women wouldn’t want to initiate something with someone who hasn’t been in relationship, as by that age you should generally have a good idea and handle on dating . I worry that if a conversation ever comes up about past relationships or exes , that it would be awkward saying that ive never had one , like id come across as a weirdo , or they would think thats sad or that there’s something wrong with me. Any thoughts about this ?
4 comments
Nonsense.
People will think what they will think. Don’t let these things stop you from finding companionship.
Not necessarily. Having a long dating history can be a much bigger red flag not to mention that people are evaluated on a multitude of criteria , for example a dude with all the right attributes could still be Hella abusive after a year .
I’m in a similar situation as you my dude , I just try to stay positive and I know there are good and interesting people out there that don’t care about that, just a matter of time till you find them
I can confirm that there are *at least* some women that don’t care about past experience. I can also confirm that some women may even prefer that.
You are who you are. You cannot change the moments that came before, but you are self-sabotaging yourself because of those moments that came before with negative talk that does absolutely nothing to further your goals.
Find your worth according to your values, and grow it. Not everyone is capable of seeing the value you bring into a relationship and that’s okay, because **you don’t even see it right now**. As a disabled person, about only 10% of people I meet are even capable of seeing my worth, the rest seem to have preconceptions about my abilities that conflict with my reality.
If you grow your own personal values, you tend to attract people who are attracted to those values too in social situations.
Yep, I’ll be getting my wizard powers soon. I’m very close to 30 and have never been on a single date. I’m fairly certain that no one wants a 30 yo virgin with 0 self esteem and enough mental problems and blocks to fill the grand canyon.