When I was like 12, I frequently fantasied and got turned on by it, but as I grew older I became less and less sexual. It was such a slow process I didn’t even notice it. Nowadays I only feel arousal once/twice a month and it goes away super quickly.

Also I’m a virgin if that matters

4 comments

  1. Have you ever heard of the distinction between responsive desire and spontaneous desire? A lot of people have desire that is more spontaneous (i.e. appears out of nowhere) when they’re younger and their hormones are raging, and then skew more toward responsive desire as they get older, meaning that it takes some sexual stimulus (e.g. porn, erotica, dirty talk, touching, kissing) and some time before they’ll get turned on.

    There’s nothing wrong with either type of desire, and it’s helpful to know about this distinction so you don’t shame yourself for having a perfectly natural and normal sexuality. The book *Come As You Are* by Emily Nagoski has lots more info and advice on this.

  3. Then you had very little to distract you. Now adult issues including stress, anxiety, school, work etc all can negatively affect your ability to get aroused.

  4. Are you on any medication (including hormonal BC)? Have you ever taken an antidepressant?

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