On Wednesdays and Fridays, I see this girl on the same bus I take. She doesn’t wear ear phones. She just stares out of her window. I know she gets off at a nearby university. We have made eye contact but I couldn’t see her facial expressions as she is wearing a mask.
I want to go sit next to her and be like,” hey sorry to bother but are you a student at xyz university?”
Is this boring to start off with? Or it doesn’t matter what you start the conversation with.
14 comments
No “sorry to bother you” and don’t ask for specific information like that. “Hey, I’ve noticed you ride this bus often. Do you work in the area?”
You : Hey, do you mind if I sit here? *smiles*
Her: Sure!
You: I have noticed you on this bus often! Do you work nearby? (Just like how the other redditor mentioned)
This is a smooth way to ease into a conversation.
Hey how’s your day going?
Or
You seem to really like this bus, so do I! ^cause ^you’re ^in ^it ^dont ^say ^this
The introduction of asking if she’s a student of that college is a great ice breaker. You can expand on many points from there. Watch this:
You: are you a student at XYZ university?
If she says no: you can say, “I just wanted to add since this bus goes past that school? Do you go to college?
If she says yes, you can say, “oh, nice, what do you study?”
If she says that she’s not in school, you can say, ” oh, I’m sorry, I thought you did. Are you heading to work?”
The options are endless. But just asking the open question first should help.
Offer before you ask.
Open with something neutral about your shared experience, eg “Crowded in here today, isn’t it?” Follow by working in some information about yourself. “I take this bus (whichever) days of the week because I (go wherever to do whatever) and it usually isn’t this packed.”
Do not ask any personal questions before introducing yourself, and please don’t reveal that you have been watching her closely enough to know how often she takes the bus and where she goes until and unless you two ever do get to know each other better – she has to take this bus to get to school twice a week and you don’t want to make that uncomfortable for her if she is not receptive to your overture of conversation.
Anybody but yes, especially a woman travelling alone, is a lot more likely to feel comfortable answering questions about themselves to somebody who has freely given them just as much but ideally more personal information about themselves. Ideally, if you open conversation with neutral topics and are generous enough with information about yourself, it will flow to where you share information naturally with each other.
You do not need to say “sorry to bother.” It sounds too passive.
Love the openers that have been suggested so far!! Only thing I’d add is not asking her out on a date or hitting on her in a public setting, but maybe just aiming to get her contact info instead and slowly warming up to hanging out with her in a different setting. Some girls may get embarrassed on the bus if you’re too forward and just may not know how to react (I know I’ve done this and rejected a guy because everyone was staring at us and I was uncomfortable)
Be yourself Good luck, I’m suprised you’ve not been told to never do it on dating Police sheep Reddit app.
It’s not rocket science just say hi and see what happens from there ur majorally overthinking I’m sure she won’t pepper spray her for simply trying to talk to her
I’ve always wanted to talk to girls on the Bus some even looked at me ( or so it seems ) but i have never done that, because i don’t want to look like a Simp or Incel. i know that people in these years are so sensible, and specially comming from a man.
Maybe i’m overthinking, but after seeing a lot of guys getting roasted in social media because he wanted to talk to a girl outside, i have that “fear”
i’m following this thread, because i would like to know
i dont know why the men on here are telling you to go up to this girl and tell her that youve been taking note of where she gets dropped off, personally for myself and a lot of women I know that would be an immediate red flag. If someone sat next to me and told me that i would quickly share my location with about a million people on my phone to keep tabs on me just in case. I would suggest starting conversation on something else, even something lame like the weather if youre clever you can pull a joke out of nothing, or maybe the bus is really empty one day or even really full, you could make a comment to her like you guys are regulars and that would set the tone that you have something in common already. If not that, does she wear a certain style of clothing? cool jewelry? tote bag/backpack/purse? have colored hair? is there anything you can see in her appearance that suggests what shes into that leaves an opening for conversation? Or does she ever carry a book with her or something?
I just highly recommend not bringing up her bus habits or asking any personal questions off the jump. Most importantly make sure to watch her body language.
What if she says yes, what’s your follow up question? Or she says no?
What if instead of “sorry to both you” it was more like “hey, I see you on this bus all the time”
Okay, some of the advice here is pretty strange. Don’t ask her invasive questions about her personal habits, and I wouldn’t sit right next to her for your first meeting. Just give her physical space, make small talk, and don’t pressure her to engage. (Like standing in the aisle or sitting across and if she doesn’t engage, just move on). Remember you guys are strangers!
Since you see her regularly, why not try to keep the interactions short and positive or even neutral? Some of the advice seems to be making this a bigger deal than it needs to be. If you guys do hit it off a little, and she is actively engaging (asking you questions, moving the conversation fwd), then can just give her your #, or invite her to plans. If not, whatever 🙂 just some girl on a bus
Better to sit in row in front or behind so you don’t sit down and box her in / make her feel trapped. Good luck!