I (M17) have been with my gf (F18) for about 5 months now. A couple of months ago, we made the decision for her to start taking birth control because condoms gave off a lot of friction and it was painful for her due to having vaginismus. My sex drive is really high and hers has been deteriorating more and more over the past two months.
We have definitely agreed on switching to another contraceptive after this one because of other factors such as severe depression and mood swings that negatively affected our relationship.
This has been a major obstacle for the both of us because she’s only had a sense of physical arousal about once a month, whereas I’m physically aroused just from her presence.
What can I do to at least calm my sex drive down for the time being?
10 comments
The only thing I can think about is self pleasure maybe
Hormonal contraception is balls. It’s seriously messed up, with so many side effects.
I can’t take it. Depression, low libido, the works. Nasty.
Mirena worked pretty well for me. Still hormonal but it’s localised. Might be worth a shot?
She needs to talk to her doctor and they need to try what works. Anything with major side effects is going to cause other issues like depression.
She could look at the injection, the patch, mirena, there are a whole bunch.
In the mean time, self pleasure, and understanding and patience without making her feel bad about it.
Physical activity always helped me cope with my high sex drive growing up, cardio, lifting, etc.
To second another commenter, hormonal birth control sucks. I’m a dude so I’m not super familiar with all the different kinds and how they differ but there’s options other than pills, my girl uses the nuvaring and it works really well for her. I won’t pretend to know exactly how it works but it doesn’t have any mood side effects or negative physical side effects as far as her experience and my experience being with her
You guys should not have listened to mainstream media and never put that poison in your body
If condoms are creating a lot of friction, then that’s probably a sign that you’re not using enough lube.
Also, has she looked into treatment for her vaginismus? It’s best to treat that before being sexually active. Painful sex is never pleasant or fun unless it’s a kink.
Sounds like you will be spending a lot of time jerking off. I hate hormonal bc. Either it doesn’t work for me and I end up pregnant anyways or it works too well and I have no interest in sex. Neither are ideal. Hopefully she feels comfortable talking to her doctor about the issues she is having with the current bc.
See r/DeadBedrooms then run for the hills my friend.
Birth control pills reduced my libido. I have been using the Mirena IUD and it does not have that effect for me, even though it does contain hormones. She should discuss options with her doctor.