While there were many other factors that played a role in my decision, the sexual incompatibility was STAGGERING.
The first time we had sex, was truly awful. I’ve never felt more pain in my life, I actually had to skip classes the next day and ice my vagina because of how rough he was. I have no idea why I went back after this, but I really liked him so I did. After a few more times of us having sex and me telling him to go slower, be gentler, etc. I finally suggested we get an oh nut buffer ring so he can’t penetrate me completely and explained to him that I thought him going too deep was the problem (even though I had already asked him not to go so deep multiple times). He was like “no I don’t really want to get that. I think it will decrease my pleasure, we’ll just use more lube. And honestly, I think you just need to learn how to take it”. I was astonished because 1. More lube wasn’t going to fix him going too deep and 2. What about my pleasure?
After that conversation, I truly just wasn’t able to completely enjoy sex with him. I was always anxious and on edge as I still had to constantly remind him to be gentler, to not go as deep, or to not shove my head down on his dick so hard and fast because it literally sends my throat into painful spasms (he does have a rather large mushroom head). And most recently (and the last straw), I asked him if there were times that he could tell I just wasn’t in the mood. He responded “yeah”. So I asked “Really? Why don’t you stop and check in with how I’m feeling then instead of just continuing?”. And he responds “because I feel like it would ruin the mood.” And I was like “for who?! You?!” And he said “yeah I guess”. And besides the first few times, this was all after I had shared with him that I was SA’d.
I have a number of emotions right now. I feel sad I had unwanted sex. I’m mad I was with someone for so long (6 mos) who clearly didn’t respect my boundaries or care about my comfort. I’m happy because I’m finally out of this situation. I’m conflicted because I don’t think he’s a bad guy, just really, really immature and dumb.
8 comments
He sounds ghastly.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders; we’ve all done things we regret but you should be proud that you stuck up for the treatment you deserve and left when you weren’t getting it.
Dodged a bullet
You did the right thing, I’m sorry you went through that experience. Stay strong and keep reminding yourself that you deserve love and happiness.
Well, anything I could do to brighten up your night?😉 I’m only a DM away
Made the right decision.
I am sorry for this experience. He really does not deserve you.
Learn from this and make sure the next person respects your boundaries and do not let them compromise your enjoyment.
He’s a sociopath!
Good for you, in my opinion sex isn’t good for me unless I’m also pleasing my gf. I’d rather not have sex if she’s not going to enjoy it or not in the mood. Don’t settle for anything less than someone who cares for you as much as themselves both in and out of the bedroom