I know I’m not the only who goes through this, but whenever someone gives me a compliment or something close to that (if they ever do, of course) I never know what to say. For example, I’m not bad at public speaking, even though I wouldn’t say I’m good either, and a friend recently told me my presentation for a group project was very good. Saying something like “yes, I know” sounds incredibly rude, but saying just “thank you” doesn’t make it for me. What should I say next? “Thank you, yours was very good too”? Sounds like a very simple answer, maybe unsincere. I never answer these directly, I kind of just change the subject. But it’s not good, I think that’s even more rude than saying “I know”. I also like poetry and my literature teacher sometimes compliments me, but I don’t know how to answer.
I also have some trouble giving compliments. A while ago, one of my friends had her hair done and I wanted to say something nice to her. No further intentions, just a genuine desplay of affection, but I simply couldn’t. I just didn’t know how to begin.
I know it’s very silly (even more than it sounded in my head before I wrote it down), but I really struggle with that. I actually struggle with every form of human interaction, but that’s besides the point. Being introvert is not an excuse and I need to change this kind of asocial behavior, but I’m gonna need help.
1 comment
When we’re trying to improve upon ourselves there’s only really two ways to go: change or acceptance. And with the latter, if you think about it, it’s really just you changing your reaction to a circumstance so it’s all change at the end of the day.
But anyway, I digress. So saying “lthank you after you’re complimented doesn’t exactly resonate with you. I wonder if that remains the same with other words to express gratitude like “I really appreciate that, (insert name here)” orrr anything else of the like. Maybe it could also be a matter of just *accepting* gratitude as well.
In that case I’d suggest getting used to saying thank you, despite the fact that it doesn’t rub you the right way. Communication is a two way street, and until the communication with someone is over, feedback should always be given to someone communicating with you cause it expresses how much you care about what they have to say.
As for giving compliments, I think it almost always starts with a lil observation, the compliment, and further interest shown by asking a question about or pointing out some detail: hair looks nice→ “I really like what you did with your hair today.”→ “Did you do it yourself?”→ (This next part could sorta vary on whether or not they did it themselves, so) if yes “You did a great job with it!” If no, just say whoever they told you did it did a great job with it.
Remember, these are like principles, not rules. You don’t have to follow what I said to a T. You could probably just say “I really like what you did with your hair today” and leave it at that. I just like to throw some spice in there. A simple way to do that would be to toss in the person’s name in there as well at the end of the compliment, people tend to like that.
I hope this helps!