Hi all,
I (24m) have been legally drinking in Pubs/Clubs/Bars for the past 6 years, my social skills have improved quite a lot in this time frame.
On one hand, I’m happy with the progress I’ve made, however on the other hand, it’s not good enough.
I’ve got many acquaintances, friends and around 5 extreamley close friends, therefore I would consider myself quite a popular person, it’s not uncommon for me to be out the house from 2PM until 2AM the next day, starting on my own and constantly talking to people that I find along the way (this was not possible a few years ago).
We all know that attractive people are generally treated better in life, I used to be less physically attractive, I’m speaking from experience. This has allowed me to make a good first impression when talking to Women, that wouldn’t have been possible a few years ago, however my social skills aren’t good enough to continue the conversation.
Making conversation with other Men is easy (for the most part), making conversation with Women can be much more difficult, I often talk to both genders in the same way, however I’ve noticed that Women seem to become less interested much more quickly, I believe this is due to not making the conversation flirty enough (my friends do this, they have sex a lot).
I lost my virginity 2 weeks ago to someone I really liked on both a physical and emotional level, I’m not really in the mood for casual/less intimate sex, however I would not complain if it happened lol. Looking back, I’m quite confident that i lost the V card, due to both of us having poor social skills and therefore being on the same wavelength.
I used to have pretty bad depression, therefore my social skills took a huge knock, I’ve recovered since then and now enjoy my life (I still have bad days, although they are much less frequent).
I no longer drink Alcohol due to many reasons, one of which being that I don’t like to rely on a substance for fake “confidence”. I like the fact that all the progress that I make, is due to me and not an outside source.
As mentioned in the second paragraph of this post, I’m happy with the progress that I’ve made throughout my life, the saying “practice makes perfect” is true for almost anything in life. The problem is that I don’t feel I’m making enough progress.
I’m a chill guy, although I would be lying if I said that I’m not jealous when seeing other guys making good/easy conversations with everyone else. It’s even worse when I see other guys kissing (or making Women horny, the signs are extremely obvious) within the first few minutes of talking/teasing a Woman.
I’m fully aware of the quote “comparison is the thief of joy” and realize how true it really is, however it’s sometimes really difficult to not let jealousy consume me. The good news is that I’m currently 24, therefore I have the rest of my life to improve.
Does anyone have advice on how to improve my Social Skills? or do I just need to put less pressure on myself?
Thank you.
TLDR: Yet another post on poor Social Skills.
1 comment
I believe it’s because those people don’t care what others think of them. So when they are out socializing, there is no doubt in their minds, there is no constant worry that someone might not like them, or make fun of them or judge them. I usually think like this. No one is going to take the time out of their day or night to judge me or u. I believe thinking like that may help u.