My boyfriend of 5 years and i finally tried sex lol I’m 21 and we were in high school together and we were doing everything else but penetration cause I wasn’t ready, but then one day we got drunk and did it. I remember I wasn’t getting wet and he was eating me and then I was sucking to make him hard. It was the booze but we tried and did it. I didn’t feel anything though, it hurt badly when he was entering me and the rest is a blur, I just remember I was happy that he reached orgasm, it’s one of my favorite memories of us, I was wiping his sweat and all(hehe). Unfortunately it was our last day together and then we were in long distance relationship. Fast forward 3 years later we got a room and finally tried doing it for second time but I’m failing at it miserably. We couldn’t got it in even after trying for 2 hours. We didn’t have lube though but even when I was wet it wasn’t getting in. I thought I’m not a virgin anymore since I did it once and that it won’t hurt but I guess I have regained my virginity or something. Or maybe I can only have sex while being drunk. I’m so disappointed in myself. He is so sweet tho, he cannot see me getting hurt and he stops trying and comes up to kiss me lol we’re both nubile who will never be able to do it. I was literally automatically dodging it by lifting my bum up and making his dick slide away it was so funny we had a good laugh but damn why is it so easy in the movies.
Also I wanna say I do masturbate but i don’t finger cause idk maybe I’m just lazy or maybe cause humping my pillow works best for me so i guess that’s why it’s hurting more cause I don’t even put a finger in. Please suggest me some position or anything so I can do it cause rn it seems impossible to get past that hurt and let him slide in. I always push him away like no seriously how’s everyone doing it even when it hurts?
7 comments
You need natural lubrication from plenty of foreplay which may need to be supplemented with lots of lubrication. It is not clear if you ever had sufficient lubrication and arousal from foreplay. If you are not properly aroused, that would explain the pain. But don’t feel bad because it can take time to get everything in sync, especially when you are both learning. I’ll bet the first time you got on a bicycle, you didn’t just take off and start doing wheelies; and probably fell over on the grass a few times, or more. Have patience. Don’t overdue it with alcohol, but a small amount can be helpful. Don’t push through pain to have sex. It is fairly normal to use a finger and then two to see if you are properly aroused. PS: You are not failing, you are learning.
Your muscles clenched because you were nervous. Maybe you weren’t aroused enough. You can’t regrow virginity. Also, it OK to suck at something you have never done. Practice makes perfect, NOBODY was born a sex guru. Everything every person knows, they once tried for the first time.
also, your case is just one of the variants of a physiological norm. It’s absolutely normal to feel pain some time after you’ve lost your virginity.
with my 1st guy it took me 4 months of trying to have my first PIV sex. We tried, it got painful, we stopped till the next time.
Think of it as a great opportunity to learn each other’s bodies, explore the art of the foreplay, learn oral sex for both sides. Just give it a try everytime. A slow and gentle try, and just ONE try at a time. Don’t try to do it for hours. Didn’t work this time? Welp, time for going down on each other
You’re normal:) I can assure you of that! And he should be happy that you didn’t get any experience while you were long distance.
Good luck, take it slow and have fun
edit to add: being wet doesn’t mean being aroused. You may get wet at some point, but if arousal drops for some reason, the lube stays, and here you are wet and not aroused. You can tell you’re aroused by your sensations. Remember what it’s like when you masturbate. If you don’t feel like that, don’t get started with the penetration even if you’re wet
Girl. I got ideas. Message me
I find when I’m nervous it helps if I’m on top, that way I can control how fast he goes in and out helps me relax. You tense up when nervous and that’s going to make it harder to get in. Focus more on the immediate sensations and not emphasize the sex part, enjoy making him feel good and him making you feel good.
A lot of peoples’ first time are surprisingly clumsy and awkward, don’t worry too much about it. I had a surprisingly difficult time keeping it up, lol. Just remember, this is about you and your partner having a good time, you shouldn’t have to grot and bear it.
Definitely try incorporating lube so that he has an easier time getting inside you. ALso, try to relax… when you get nervous your muscles can tighten up
Regarding the “regrowing my virginity” part – In my experience sex hurts for the first few times, NOT just the first. It’s normal because your vagina hasn’t stretched enough, so it goes back to being tight after penetration has ended – it’s normal! It’s important to remember every body is different and every body adjusts differently and at different times 🙂