Partner asked for a 5 day communication break– trying to keep composure

I (F25) recently had a lot of stress compiling over a few months (moving, moving again, loss of friends, family passing, new job…) and my partner (M23) (who I have been dating for 1y but friends for 2yrs prior) just asked for a 5 day break.
To say it came out of nowhere is rocky, as we had a really long and difficult back and forth about 3 days ago– I was upset that our communication in planning and figuring out our work schedules was so poor, he was stressed with how negative I’ve been lately, but we seemed to come to an agreement at the end: let’s use the weekend prior to schedule and talk out our week. Maybe we can look positively into couples counseling 2x a month just to make sure we are communicating as we come from two very different family backgrounds and lifestyles.
He expressed how I wasn’t communicating what I wanted but what I thought was expected of us– and I agree I was doing that. He agreed he doesn’t let me know how his week looks and he is always running late when it comes to making plans, so he needs to talk it through and write it in his calendar when we make plans and keep to them.

The following day I got mainly radio silence, thinking he was working so I didn’t reach out. But around 7pm I reached and jist asking how he was, and I got “not doing bad, and you?”. I sent my reply, heard nothing. Reached out the following day, heard nothing. This is when I got worried, because he never ghosts, he can be scatterbrained and lose his phone or we have had cell provider issues where his phone sent all his replies but my phone never actually received them. So when I kept checking in and finally asked “can you at least let me know you are ok” he got back saying he was just trying to distance a bit… I got home later that day, thought, I realize a lot of the stress and pressure I’ve put on him and I really need to take the L on this. I at first tried to give him a call, but after a couple rings I realized I should write it out.
I wrote out my apology, how I acknowledged my areas I needed work on and that I should never compare our relationship to others, because in general we have an amazing friendship foundation and have fun. We don’t need to be like anyone else.

This morning he answered, apologizing for being silent, but he said he needs more time to get his head and order and get a little more self care in before I can be back in his day to day. And he let me know he hopes we can talk later this week (he leaves for a church conference tomorrow for 3 days). He ended it with a sorry and I love you.

I reluctantly, but without hesitation said that’s fine but please have a safe trip. Now I’m stuck wondering if this is an actual “break” and what a break means– since it has so many negative connotations… we’ve gone a week or so without talking on his previous trips because reception and he had so many meetings, but never was it stating that we aren’t talking during that time. It feels different.

Am I making this so much worse in my head or should I relax and acknowledge that this doesn’t mean an end?

TL;DR!
Partner M23 (dating 1y, friends 2y) asked me F25 for a 3-4 day communication break after establishing we need to communicate better after a rough conversation a few days prior. Said we’d talk once he’s back from a trip and that he was sorry but still loves me and acknowledged my apologies as well.
Is a break a bad thing or can it be positive?

2 comments
  1. I think it can be positive.

    The best thing you can do is respect has request for space.

    And at the end of it, if he can’t support you through the tough times, then you’ve dodged a bullet. X

  2. The things with communication breaks if he needs time to himself is you communicate it BEFOREHAND, not after he’s ghosting you. That’s ridiculous and it’s not ok that he only told you he needs time when you called him out on it.

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