Is it okay to masturbate while in a relationship? I’ve never been in a relationship before so I’m new to this and don’t know what is okay and what is not.

32 comments

  1. Absolutely! It’s your body, you are allowed to do what you want with yourself ❤️

  2. There is nothing wrong with masturbating while in a relationship so long as it does not interfere with your partnered sexual relationship. If you are choosing masturbation over sex with your partner, that is a problem. If you are unable / uninterested to have sex with your partner because of masturbation, that is also a problem.

    Otherwise, just remember that no two people have perfectly matched sex drives (libido) so masturbation can help even that out.

  3. Of course. Your body does not cease to be yours just because you are in a relationship.

    Masturbation is a perfectly healthy way to get to know your own body, it can be relaxing, it can be fun – it can be selfcare.

    Like most things excess can have a negative impact, but that’s another story

  4. It’s fine. Do what you want to do.

    You could also do it around them, ofc ask first, but quite a lot of people are into that and would enjoy being there during, without needing to be involved.

  5. All people are not horny at the same time all the time. Therefore even people in a relationship would be out of sync. Therefore it is quite fine to masturbate. It would be advisable if you speak with your partner about it too, so you know it’s fine both ways.

  7. I am in relationship and sometimes I masturbate during sex. Also I love watching my wife masturbating. So I think the answer is, yes it is ok to masturbate in relationship

  8. Yes, but you should talk to your partner about porn use though. It ruins lots of relationships

  9. No there’s nothing wrong with masturbating while In a relationship and if your partner has a problem with it and they see it as “cheating” you should leave

  11. Of course….I ve been married 23 years and still masturbate…Im sure my husband does too!!!

  12. Can you poop in a relationship? Yeah its your business, and its not like you’re just gonna stop.

  14. Masturbation itself is natural and not something to feel guilty baout, whether or not it is considered some sort of ” violation ” by your partner is a whole other topic and often times is dependent on the relationship itself. It’s something you both must decide on and discuss together.

    For example you will often see threads even here about partners who prefer to masturbate instead of having sex with their partner / spouse … that can lead to a confusing and resentful situation .

    In truth it all comes down to communication and often times communication earlier in a committed relationship is better.

    TLDR; Masturbating is natural , whether or not it is an issue within the relationship comes to decisions and conversations had between you and your partner.

  15. Sometimes if my wife isn’t feeling it and I am, I communicate with her and she will say she wants to actively participate. So I’ll jerk it next to her. Good times

  16. Holy crap if that wouldn’t be okay I would have big problems haha. My girlfriend doesn’t mind it thankfully 😉

  20. Yeah it’s absolutely fine as long as it doesn’t get in the way of your sex life w your partner. If you start preferring to masturbate than have sex with him or her then it may be becoming an issue but generally it’s fine

  23. Speaking as someone who is in a commited relationship, the only time i hold myself from masturbating is when I want to kind of willingly torture myself until our next encounter with my SO. Other than that I see masturbation almost like a form of meditation. No one should be allowed to take that away from you.

  24. Of course! You can’t expect your partner to take care of your needs 100% of the time.

  25. Absolutely! You can do whatever you want with your body. It perfectly natural to want to want alone time with yourself or even add it during foreplay before sex with your partner.

  27. I don’t masturbate or watch porn in a relationship. My gf doesn’t do it too. Sex is more satisfying this way. But we have sex multiple times, every day. Our libidos are very high

  28. Definitely! Just don’t let it effect your relationship as a whole or them as a individual.
    Masturbating can also be a good way of preventing cheating sexually with another person.
    I’m not sure about emotional, or romantic cheating.

    Be careful with porn. There are many ways it can ruin a relationship.
    – Don’t excessively watch porn.
    – Please have realistic views of sex.
    – Porn can effect your libido.
    – There can be body insecurity stemming from porn.

    There’s many reasons porn *COULD* be bad.
    That’s just a few.

    Have Fun, but not too much fun 😉.

  29. It’s only becomes a problem if you’re masturbating when your partner is unsatisfied with the amount of sex AND is available.

    * You masturbate because you’re horny and your SO is not home. Fine.
    * You masturbate because you’re horny and your SO doesn’t want to have sex. Fine.
    * You masturbate and your partner encourages you to do so (maybe you’re both masturbating at the same time). Fine.
    * Your partner complains about not having enough sex and mentions they’re horny. You go to your room and masturbate instead of taking the cue of having sex. Problem. There’s obviously some issue here. It might just be sexual incompatibility if having sex with your partner sucks so you’d rather masturbate, but the point is if you’re sexually incompatible and sex is important to at least one of you, then you have to consider ending the relationship instead of letting your significant other grow more and more disillusioned with the relationship until the relationship falls apart.
    * You masturbate during sex and your partner is sexually insecure. Honestly this is their problem not yours, but you have to deal with the fall out of having an insecure partner. This most frequently is when guys have their egos shattered when they find out their partner wants to masturbate while they have sex or use a vibrator while they have sex though if they looked at the studies, they should WANT their partners to use their fingers or vibrator.

    > Specifically, when asked about intercourse in general, 22% of women said they never experience orgasm. By contrast, this number dropped to 14% for “assisted” intercourse (i.e., when clitoral stimulation was specifically included), but increased to 37% when asked about “unassisted” intercourse (i.e., when clitoral stimulation was specifically excluded).

    > Likewise, on average, women said they reach orgasm 31-40% of the time in response to the question about intercourse in general. By contrast, women said they reached orgasm even more often with assisted intercourse (51-60% of the time), but less often with unassisted intercourse (21-30% of the time). [source](https://blogs.iu.edu/kinseyinstitute/2019/01/24/how-often-do-women-orgasm-during-sex/)

  30. Short answer: probably.

    Long answer: Some people feel possessive over the sexuality of other people when in a LTR. This usually stems from some ownership or perception of sex being a primary component in a relationship. You’re probably going to have to ask your partner on how they feel about it. If you want to rub one out, You might have to make your case.

    If you can’t work it out, maybe you’re not compatible with the person, but it’ll all come down to communcating to your partner and understanding what barriers you and your partner need for a healthy relationship.

    Just keep in mind, you sound pretty young, so this might be a moment of self discovery for you. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake.

  31. Did not expect this many answers, thanks to everyone who helped me! It meant a lot:)

  32. No one gets to tell you what to do with YOUR body; not even a partner.

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