Background : come from an Indian family of immigrants I’m 21(f)
I’m currently finished school and have a full time job at a bank living at home. However I have never really had any privacy what so ever my mom always goes through my whole entire room their is nothing she doesn’t go through.
Naturally I am a very sexual person I read a lot of books on it and have had lovers and Friends take sexually suggestive Polaroids of me because it’s a hobby and it makes me feel good about myself personally. My mom goes to great lengths to find these pictures where I hide them. I don’t blame her for shaming me because she grew up in a completely different generation and time however it’s really hard to get slut shamed all the time she thinks I have an obsession with sex and my body and that anyone who came from a good family wouldn’t do such thing. Even though I am well educated and smart she sees it as me being troubled rather then an expression of myself.
Every time I go out she always sends me nasty messages accusing me of sleeping around with men and being a slut and a prostitute. As of yday I was gone for a sleepover and she went through my entire room and found a picture of me shirtless and one of my past lover who was significantly older then me. And basically said if I want to live this life I need to move out which I want to an planning to however I don’t want to live paycheke to paycheque but I might need to. I feel like my growth is being somewhat stunded being at home and maybe moving out will be a challenge that will make me better. Any advice would help.
3 comments
it sounds like you should have moved out a long time ago
>she runs through my room looking to find anything
>slutshames me constantly
even the first one alone would have someone out the door
Do what you feel is the right move! If your mom is to nosey then nothing will beat the privacy of having your own place! You need to be able to express yourself and live YOUR life your way! Do what makes you happy. You only get one life to live, dont live it for other peoples beliefs.
See if you can stay at a friend for an extended period.
And if you feel more comfortable and secure being away from home, make the decision then. And as a bonus it might make your mother reconsider her behaviour.
It’s hard not feeling accepted by your parents. And it’s hard making the decision. But remember that it’s your life and its you health. Your family is meant to support you, not shame you. I hope this helps and that you continue being you ❤