Does this happen to anyone else? Like you converse with someone and get to know each other quite a bit for them to behave like you didn’t exist when you see each other the next day? Like you walk past each other and they don’t even glance at you (like they’re trying to not acknowledge your existence) or you say hi and they barely say it back (or don’t even at all). Such behavior irks me so much and makes it hard for me talk to people. I might be making things up tho. Anyone feels the same happens to them?

Like I know we aren’t besties but we’ve talked, know each other’s faces and names. The least is to say hi when we see each other? Idk….

14 comments
  1. Hey buddy! I have had this happen to me several times. It hurts and sucks.

    I try to remind myself that people are like the weather and we can’t always predict how they act towards us. Perhaps that person was just having a bad day or didn’t get enough sleep the night before. Don’t take it personally. It’s not your fault as long as you were nice and genuine!

  2. I understand it irks you. I just try to reciprocate the way they do to me bc it’s not worth it

  3. I’m curious. Did you change cities recently? I had this happen to me when I stayed in California for a few months. I come from a culture where you meet someone once and you ask them how they’re doing if you see them again. But in California so many people are just as you described. I initially did the tit-for-tat and didn’t make many friends. I’ll share two anecdotes that helped me get better.

    I saw this guy in my shared office workplace. He was loud and gregarious and would go out of his way to say hi and make small talk. It was even annoying at times as I just wanted to be left alone. I probably wasn’t the only one. But he did have a few more friends. I wanted to emulate that but I was reluctant as the last thing I wanted to be was annoying. So I learned but never tried his brute-force approach.

    Weeks later, I met this other guy. He would say hi with a smile every time. But he had a better grasp on when to talk more and when to leave someone alone. Far more likable. Made friends very easily. Became a good friend of mine too. I pointed the other guy to him with context and he remarked “he’s on step 1, I was like that at first”.

    So yes, I’d since tried to be forthcoming to more and more people, i.e., brute-force. With time, I learned to be more intelligent. I also learned that in a culture where people have a ‘I don’t know you face’, no one wants to be the one to try differently and fail and go home rejected. But if you don’t get discouraged by that, you end up making a lasting connection with the good people.

  4. I feel like I subconsciously do this to people sometimes.

    If I’m having a good mental health day I’ll be more friendly and social, but then the next day if I’m feeling really anxious I might come off as less friendly or even short with people. I never ignore people but I might not feel like chatting much.

    Point being it often isn’t about you.

  5. This hapoens mostly and makes me anxious , I think like should I glance or not say someyhing or not , look at him or not and this makes me more anxious

  6. I do this sometimes, it’s not because I dislike you it’s because I just don’t feel like talking or I have absolutely nothing to say. It’s not meant to be disrespectful.

  7. okay umm I do this sometimes not on purpose, but I am just very bad at saying hi and well severe social anxiety, ehh its just bad, and I really want to but sometimes I just can’t, and you would never have guessed it because I am very good at handling myself in-front of crowds and look like a very very confident guy, but umm I used to be an introvert and this is something that I still can’t seem to get rid of.

  8. Ofc this happens a lot to me. Basically means we fail to make a lasting impact on them. Also some ppl are just dicks and it’s not a matter of how hard you tried to make that impact, that’s just how they are. If it’s a pattern though, probably just means we are boring ppl.

  9. Ask yourself this: if you were their boss or a beautiful lady, would they still not notice you? I bet they would and they would say hi first.

    I had this problem for a very long time. It becomes very annoying after a while. I was wondering what did I do to these people to make them ignore my presence. After all during all interactions I was really friendly and I was eager to get to know them. It turns out this was the main problem.

    I managed to solve it very recently. Long story short, problem is about being a nice guy, being needy in terms of establishing friendship and being socially unbalanced. I started writing a complete guide about how to be the guy who people notice and invite but it will take a while since there are lots of things to cover. If you are interested in social skills and would like to share your findings please DM me.

  10. Context matters to some degree, but I think it’s not uncommon for it to take multiple (favorable) interactions before people start to actively see someone else as an acquaintance and consciously go out of their way to notice/acknowledge someone in chance passings or whatever.

    If you’re interested in building rapport with someone, continue saying hi and making conversation when you see one another, even if just very briefly. You’ll either start to build that familiarity or maybe realize that the two of you don’t vibe, but either way it’ll take more than one interaction sometimes.

  11. I have it we’re most smile pretend they enjoy talking to me while angry smiling obviously slightly with look on their face that says how do I get away from him or get him to stop talking dang he’s so annoying.not everyone does this but enough of people to where it i sometimes just don’t talk to anyone and don’t talk that much with others lately cuz I’m tired of it and before people say it’s in my head my mom and bro notices it too

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