Hi guys! I recently posted about this, but have a bit more time so I thought I’d rewrite the story with more detail, here we go:
About 3 years ago I (23F) started hooking up with a coworker (26M) (I know, bad idea). I caught feelings, even though it was just a rebound for me at the time, but he started dating someone else. They dated for about 2 years.
Fast forward 2 years and a few months later, I no longer work with this guy and he reached out to apologize for how things ended between us (he ghosted, and started dating his then girlfriend a week later). We started hanging out as friends, and then after a few times hanging out we started hooking up as well. We went to the movies, he wanted me to meet his friends, and we would text throughout the week and hangout at least once a week.
Well, I invited him to a festival that I was going to with my aunt and adult cousins. He was excited for it and came. During the festival, I pulled him aside to discuss some things on my mind (such as, we were having s*x without protection but hadn’t discussed if we were exclusive, and I also wanted to ask him about this girl I felt he might be seeing). We cleared it all up and he teased me about being jealous of the girl. Everything was good. Later on, he pulled my aunt aside and asked her if “I was being real” which I think means was I really into him or was it superficial? Anyways, my aunt told him I had real feelings for him. He then came up to me and told me what my aunt had said about my feelings. I got scared and literally ran away from him. He chased after me and fell and broke his foot. He didn’t tell me he was hurt, but instead put me in an Uber and that was it. Him putting me in an Uber and not coming with me made me feel rejected, however it made more sense when he told me about his foot the next day.
With all that said, I reached out the next morning and told him I was sorry about running away, I explained I do have feelings and I was scared. He told me “it’s all good, but I’ll reply later because I broke my foot and am at emerg right now”. I tried to offer to help, but he brushed me off. I told him I would give him space, but I was thinking about him. It’s been almost a week and I’ve heard nothing from him.
2 comments
Great story, you both could be dating each other and have a few kids in future.
Now, taking the ‘no response’ from him into consideration – the reason why you haven’t heard from him comes significantly from your reaction of running away from him. Metaphorically, he has run away the same way how you did. When he was asking your aunt about your feelings for him, he was making sure if you’re the right person for him to settle down with, and if things are right. He ‘tallied’ all the emotions and feelings you’ve had for him with your aunt in just a nick of time, and I’m sure he was satisfied by her response. (Your aunt has indirectly helped both of your relationship get even stronger by being a witness to it. She has done a Cupid’s work to say the least with or without knowing it.) Once confirming the same, he came back to know to let you know you’ve earned his trust and he’s happy about it, but sadly that’s when the wrong thing happens: you run away. This implied to him that even though your feelings are genuine, it still might not be a good idea to only see you when he could be dating several other women. In a way, that was the moment when you completely went out of his mind.
Being a gentleman, he dropped you in Uber while still caring for you and making sure you reach home safe. He kept himself out of the equation (going home together) ‘cause he didn’t want to make a fuss about what just happened and to simply keep things light.
The next day, he uses the broken feet as a reason to excuse himself from talking to you, ‘cause he’s already over you since that incident. Long story short – he is aware that you like him and he likes and cares for you too, but it doesn’t seem to be the right move for him now to think about something serious with you.
Suggestion would be to still be friends with him to keep in touch. He needs you as much as you need him. Yes, just give him some space and to not let your mind drift away towards him during this time, make new friends, hangout with people, keep yourself busy. Let him make the decision, stand by his side. He’ll come back.
There’s nothing wrong in how things are going now, if it’s meant to be than he’ll surely settle with you and start dating. My dms are open for you in case you need help.
I would give space. Next time don’t literally run from your feelings lol. But let him take the initiative here. It sounds like in the past he let you down. Let him be the one to fix this.