A few months ago, I was unceremoniously handed the reigns of a sub called r/makefriendsover30. As a people person over 30, I found that making friends is considerably more difficult the older you get even when you’re a people person. The problem with a lot of subs on reddit is that older people tend to get drowned out by the younger crowd.
So the idea was to create a place for people over 30 to have a place of their own to make friends and just hang out. So far, it’s turned out to be a great experiment and our discord is full of some really nice people. But we know there have to be more people out there who would love to just have a person or group of people to talk to throughout the day about anything and everything. So, hope you all might stop by and join. Thanks.
13 comments
With all due respect, I think we need to make friends in real life. Joining dancing lessons, yoga classes or a hiking club is a very good way to find similar minded people. Spending more time in Internet with online friends is not going to change anything
you made a sub just for me, and I didnt even know it!
My number one fail-safe means of making friends in every city I move to has been volunteering at a place that serves the community at-large in some way. And making sure it’s a place that intersects with my interests. Always a slow start, but I’ve successfully been able to build social groups within the first year or two of every move by doing this in each new city I find myself living.
I’m in my late 30s, I have a couple friends, but they are mostly long distance/ish. I like reading on this sub sometimes when I get extroverted. I don’t know what discord is, never used Instagram either.
What are those like? Can you maintain anonymity?
As a 33 year old guy all of the friends I’ve made in the past 10yrs or so have been from the gym. You ask some dude to spot you or vice versa and then you just say what’s up after that then gradually start talking more and more about life, girl friends, career whatever but it always works. When I first moved to NYC I knew no one now I have 3 good friends from lifting.
Checked it out hoping for a Discord and yeah you have one. But then you said you have to post before receiving an invite link. That’s disappointing.
I use reddit to comment on various threads of interest to me, and I use Discord to actually socialize with other people. I’d rather not have the two linked for privacy reasons. I also don’t see why you require a post before sending an invite link to the Discord. Surely that just means a lot of useless one-off posts before people just join the Discord and chat there instead?
Seems like an unnecessary and somewhat invasive hoop to jump through to join the Discord.
Thanks! Subbed
And it’s actually not hard at all. It just takes effort. As kids we weren’t preoccupied with jobs and family but making friends still follow the same formula: spending time together, mutual interests, matching personalities.
It won’t happen on its own. You need to check at least some boxes.
I moved back to Canada after living overseas for 14 years back in 2011. This NYT article summed it up for me then and remains true today.
https://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html
My go to way to make friends is at concerts or at the martial arts place but train in.
If I didn’t have kids, I’d probably never make any friends. Forcing myself to spend time with other dads because of my kids is the only way I’ve made friends since college was over.
Just wondering why it bothers people so much if your more of a loner. I have long term friends and we go out 1x-2x a month. I work 10hrs a day, don’t have debts, and my house payment is the only thing I owe. I like who I am, but others say I need to get out and meet more people, why? I go out all the time, I just don’t announce it to everyone, and enjoy my time when I go out either with someone or alone. I don’t want to be forced to go out looking for new friends because it bothers someone else. I’m not looking to get married again, or have more kids, so why do people think I need someone to make me happy, I have many acquaintances I talk to all the time. It seems like people are depressed and looking for someone to make THEM happy. I like myself and don’t need someone else to make me happy. If something happens, great, if not, that’s great too. Its very difficult for people to understand that just because I don’t document my life on facebook, and claim people I’ve never met before as friends, that I’m unhappy. It seems like a contest between people to have the most friends, whether you really like them, or whether you’ve actually met them or not. If everyone just let people live the life they enjoy, people wouldn’t be as depressed as they are. Everyone seems like they’re trying to fit into a box to be “normal” No one can make you happy, you make yourself happy and there is no normal. And if you live life differently then everyone else’s, so what. Now let’s talk about why i think you have too many friends, and need to stay home more. 😁
I wish there were more groups of friends like the ones I have, multiple circles with diverse interests, but most everyone is physically active and like to drink/socialize so interests lean that way- but we are very welcoming. These circles continue to grow because more and more people get added in.
People tend to close off when they get older and set in their ways and that’s a flaw. There is so much we can learn from letting others in.