Frequently the woman discussing sexuality on this forum strike me as much more sexual than the average woman I encounter in my real life.
I wonder if that is some kind of self selection effect: namely that many “normal“ women (low libido relative to typical men) simply do not find their way onto forums like this to discuss sexuality, due to a lack of interest on their part.
On the other hand, is it perhaps true that most of the women who find their way onto this forum, have a heightened interest in sex, and therefore higher libidos than typical?
If this effect is real, it would presumably affect men too. My suspicion would be that men are less affected, because most of them have higher libidos than women, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
As a personal, example my wife is more than happy to take care of my sexual needs, maybe mumbling and grumbling a little on occasion, but she has literally zero interest in the topic. From what I’ve read more broadly she has a fairly typical female libido, but when I browse this forum, she seems atypical.
Curious about the thoughts of others.
14 comments
Regarding the male part, selfish and self absorbed “takers” probably don’t frequent these types os self-actualization forums…
Seems legit 👌🏾congregation of like minded people or those with similar interests happens by nature
The truth is: woman aren’t less sexually active than men. Never were.
And as a lot of you may not like it – patriarchy did this to us. Women were getting shamed for wanting to have sex, our body is still sexualized even in non sexual situations. Society constantly tells girls to cover their bodies, shame them for having periods and being “dirty”, tells woman to shave every inch of their body and always look pretty.
I don’t say it’s your fault fellow male representatives, but history did this to us and girls were never allowed to show their sexuality so we need to try to slowly change our mindsets.
If a woman says she had a lot of sexual partners she’ll be called a slut and when a man says the same he’ll be the king of flirt.
Lol why you gotta tell on yourself like that? If you’re wife is uninterested in sex and just forces herself to fuck you, that isn’t a “normal female libido”. Maybe do some research.
Women love sex, on the whole. The sex drive is probably hormonal driven and higher at different times of the menstrual cycle, but most women find sex enjoyable and seek it out. Women discuss sex all the time. Probably not with you, lol, for the aforementioned reasons.
Whatever you are “reading” about the female libido is wrong. Don’t read manosphere or pseudoscience articles.
Women may be less interested in casual sex sometimes because the consequences are far higher for women than men.
Firstly, it is upsetting that you said your wife “mumbles and grumbles” about having sex with you. Maybe don’t try to have sex with her if she’s not feeling it. Geez.
Secondly, as a dude, you are not a good judge of women’s libidos. Even if a woman was super horny, she would not be volunteering that information to you or other randos or even male friends unless she felt really comfortable because there’s so many creeps out there.
Thirdly, the gender breakdown of reddit users is heavily skewed towards men so a random sample of any subreddit is not a good representation of the population.
Obviously, people browse reddits based on their interests, people who are more open about talking about sex will be on here, but don’t assume things about large portions of the population.
Lots of women have high libidos, and lots of women, especially women in heterosexual relationships have shitty partners that don’t make them cum. Ive talked to women in their mid twenties who have never had a partner give them an orgasm. So I’d be careful equating libido to desire. I think a lot of the women who come off as low libido just have the expectation that sex will be kinda meh, so why would they bother with it.
Biology is interesting – I will say, anecdotally, that it seems libido is moreso an “individual” preference than a gender thing. And libido is also fluid. I (33F) have a much higher libido than my SO (38M). Back when we were in our 20’s though, our libidos were reversed. Most of my mid-30’s female friends are also in this boat. Maybe generational / age driven more than anything?
You are not totally wrong nor right.
Women don’t actually like sex.
Of course people on a sex sub will be people interested in sex. When i go in board game store, every person in there loves board games. But i am under no allusions that most people love board games…
Don’t underestimate what shame can do to people too. My parents are largely sex positive but I was still raised in a relatively conservative culture (small town, very homogeneous and regressive) and was for many years too ashamed to even admit that I masturbated even though logically I knew that it’s natural and healthy and there’s nothing wrong with it. Unlearning sex-related shame takes years and some people end up never doing it
I don’t know what a typical female libido is BUT every female I’ve spoken to openly about sex has a pretty high sex drive.
Birth control has a huge negative impact on libido which could be a contributor for many women.
I know that some women don’t feel comfortable sharing their wants with their partner for fear they will be looked at differently.
I don’t believe in all these”horny women” walking around. Most women are responsive arousers, meaning that as usual it’s up to the man to pursue and often get rejected even if he’s been doing”the right things”. Every study shows that men think of sex, and masturbate, much more often than women. Few women act sexy and are seducers unless they’re young, or wanting to get pregnant. The studies show that gay men are the most sexually active, then heterosexual couples, and lastly, lesbian couples.
Men do have higher sex drive than women. See a [meta analysis](https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=fr&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=men+women+sex+drive&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&t=1658379336720&u=%23p%3DTe37kIFxEeYJ) reviewing several anterior papers. Results are clear.
There is probably a self selection process going on, I guess this is the point of subreddits.
Hi there! It really depends on the person, but yes, I think you are right about self selection bias. However, I think it doesn’t necessarily have to do with the individual‘s libido, but rather their overall interest in sex.
I’ll use myself as an example. i have a very low libido generally (and I’m a woman)l I have what sex therapists and sexologists call a “responsive desire.” This means that I rarely will get horny or turned on without engaging in sex or erotic material/stimulation. For example, I’ll be super dry, not horny at all, but if my boyfriend whips out his shlong and I engage in a blowjob, I will “respond“ to the erotic stimuli and become aroused. Or I will not be horny, but I’ll watch some sort of lady soft core porn slow burn movie that has some steamy kissing and groping scenes and then I will get horny as a result. Basically, sex thoughts and desires rarely enter my head on their own since leaving teenhood. Something I miss and I wish was different, because fantasizing and horniness is so fun!
point is, I’m a dry ass mf. However, sex is my PASSION. It’s one of my favorite subjects! I am studying to become a sex therapist! That means I’ll be a marriage and family therapist that specializes in helping clients with sex related problems such as desire, addiction, kink, erectile dysfunction, lack of enjoyment, healing from sexual trauma and more. I haven’t begun my bachelors yet, and I will need a minimum of a masters In psychology, plus certification, so I have a long way to go!
I may not get to enjoy sex very frequently (busy life and other issues) but I absolutely love discussing sex and sexuality.