A common rebuke I see from women is that they couldn’t date a man who doesn’t have the balls to ask them out. Or that they are personally attracted to dominant men who approach them (as an explanation for why they don’t ask men out).
To be frank this is all BS. It’s BS because us men wouldn’t be experiencing a heap of socially awkward/socially inept women being weird and cringe around us if you needing men to ask you out was really a prerequisite for being attracted to us. We also wouldn’t be seeing a stark contrast between you and middle-aged women when it comes to communication skills. Older women seem to have no problems being forward with their intent.
The reality is for most young women out there… You just lack game. And you lack game because you’re too reliant on men being the ones to approach you. But what happens when everyone except the one guy you’re actually interested in approaches you?…
Have no fear, Dr. Summer Viking is here with some quick tips.
1. **Don’t peacock and parade yourself around a social environment if you’re not going to be prepared to introduce yourself to the guy you like at some point.** A lot of you will put your phone to your face and pretend like you’re in an important call as you walk past your crush multiple times a day seven days a week in the hopes of being noticed. **Don’t**. Not unless you intend to introduce yourself at some point at least. It’s vague and it’s ambiguous *(I know, I know. It’s the plausible deniability of this behavior that makes it so appealing to you)*. But it’s not going to work on shy guys. And it’s just going to make guys like me roll our eyes at you and think you’re a bit of a clown.
2. **Don’t have a different crush each week**. At least, don’t be open about this fact if you do. The optics are never good. There is an attractive girl at one of the places I work at who lot of the guys like (but she only ever likes the cute ones) and she’s constantly gossiping to her co-workers about this fact. She liked a guy named Daniel (who was uninterested), a week later she moved onto another guy named Will (who was engaged). **Girls talk** and they talk to guys too. I had plenty of women fill me in about this girl. So when she focused her cross hairs on me I was turned off completely. She doesn’t know I know, but I do. Don’t be like this girl. Be more self-aware of your behavior.
3. **Don’t act like the guy you like should be lucky to date you**. In my experience, women are either incredibly shy and awkward around me, or they put on a bit of a mask and neg me (and call that flirting). They usually learn this social behavior from teen dramas on Netflix and I recommend against it as it is a form of social awkwardness. The latter are usually women who self-identify as “the hot chick” and believe men should approach them. But this whole philosophy comes crashing down when you are the one who likes the guy and are just frustrated he hasn’t asked you out. It also makes you look fake.
4. Don’t accuse a guy of being gay when he rejects you. Attraction can build over time, but an impression like that lasts a lifetime.
5. Don’t rely on social media to save the day (it shouldn’t be used as a crux). Social media is great and all. But it’s because of stalkers that I deactivated all of my accounts in the first place. If pretending that you found a guy on social media due to the “mutual friends suggestion” to slide into his dms is how you flirt then I’d advise against this.
6. Don’t clandestinely obtain his number when you can’t find his social media and then confess to him when drunk (when he doesn’t even know you). You’d be surprised how many women think this one is actually acceptable.
7. Don’t be weird. If you have secret romantic fantasies of him being a vampire (or being in witness protection) don’t go up to him and feel it’s appropriate to divulge this to him and expect it to be taken as a compliment. When he starts questioning your motives don’t lie or try to back-pedal or start getting into nervous giggling fits like an android that’s circuits have been fried to the point you have to excuse yourself to the bathroom. Just admit you like him (you’re only digging yourself into your grave further otherwise). For those wondering, yes, this has actually happened to me numerous times.
If you like a guy the best thing you can do is go up and say hi and build a rapport over time. The girls who have been successful with me have always done this.
It seems as if my entire life for the most part has been colored by women acting awkward and making me uncomfortable. Which is ironic when you consider this seems to be a major pet peeve for women with men.
The consistent theme seems to be women will like men, but climb mountains to avoid having to be the one to admit it.
Maybe this is just what happens when people are attracted to another person?…