Honestly it’s ridiculous. I’ve been like 10 minutes late to dates before and felt like I got dinged for it. But this girl tonight is AN HOUR late. Originally we actually agreed on 8 but she switched it up in the afternoon, something about her son’s practice, then 20 minutes before, when I’m already on my way, she texts saying she’s “still coming, she just got home and is hopping in the shower.” I get there at around 9 and tell her I’m in front of the place. She texts 30 minutes later saying she’s “on her way.” Then 15 minutes later calls asking if I’m there and says she’s on her way, and when I ask how long she’ll be she says “10 minutes.” She calls me 20 minutes later saying she’s at the place but it’s the wrong one. So again I agreed to wait till she gets here. Now here waiting.
Let’s be real here, I am probably losing points with her for tolerating this right? Quick advice needed, what should I say when she gets here? Sure shit happens but come on this is just way too much.
UPDATE: She finally showed up an hour and 45 minutes after we agreed to meet and she showed up HIGH. I stuck around for an hour just to be polite then made an excuse and left. Total waste of a Friday evening. I deeply regret not just staying home and playing video games instead.
32 comments
If this hasn’t happened before, cut her some slack. However, if this has happened before, I’m not sure why you waited on her.
Tell her you’re glad to see her and happy she made it safely.
“You’re buying drinks, right?”
Next time give her a takeaway. If she calls to change the time, and gives you a million excuses, tell her that she seems like she has too much going on, and to let you know when she’s less busy.
Either she’s not interested, and will agree and cancel. If she does, cut her loose. She’s not interested.
Alternatively, she’ll get her shit together and will meet you at the designated time.
Don’t tolerate flaky behavior.
I never would have waited that long. Especially for a first date. I went on a date with a guy whose car broke down that day. He ubered there and he was only like 20m late
Honestly, if it bothers you this much, maybe you just cut the date short?
I (35f) showed up to a place once, waited…finally just ordered a beer and decided I was leaving after my beer was gone. Texted and the guy gave some shit excuse that he forgot and said “but I’ll come there now” I told him no thanks and I left. Then I got all sorts of shitty texts from him lol. Dodged a bullet.
In your situation, shit happens but that is excessive and I am thinking you deserve better….
It’s rude to be that late she should have rescheduled
Is she good in bed?
this happened to me a girl was 4 HOURS LATE you should go home , block her , and move on with life it’s billions of females out here don’t be stuck on this one who clearly dosent respect you
I had an 8 month long relationship with a woman where she got lost on the first date. She was a great girlfriend,, we broke up because she wanted to move to out of my city to peruse a masters degrees we’re still friends. You may be overreacting.
Why would you lose points for being understanding…?
Just leave, she doesn’t respect your time.
I’d just leave now. Not sure why you think you’d lose points for being kind or patient, but this sounds like you’re in a bad mood now anyway (I probably would be too). And she doesn’t seem very kind or considerate of your time. Just move on.
You are losing points with yourself in all honesty. But not to be judgmental, my wife canceled several times and I was late according to her. But it’s all good though. Make the best of your night and take it from there.
Bro I’m sorry but you should have gone home a long time ago. Honestly the whole phone call 20 min before the date would have killed it for me.
See how it goes when she gets there. Try to enjoy the rest of the night with out being upset and take it from there. If you need to move on, so be it. You at least can say that you gave it your best and hopefully have no regrets.
This is absolutely ridiculous-it doesn’t matter if she’s got kids. My partner is a solo parent. The mom fucked off 4 years ago and he raises his son full time. That’s way more responsibility than a “single parent.”
Things certainly happen but what you’ve described is a woman who can’t juggle her time. That’s not going to be a problem for some people but if it’s bothersome now, which it sounds like it is, it’s not going to get better.
Just want to know if she ever showed up
I kind of did this on a first date, but not on purpose… This was before cell phones and GPS so I was just straight up lost trying to find this chick for our first date, she wanted to meet in a safe public space.
I showed up 2 hours late apologizing profusely and she just smiled and said well now you know how badly I wanted to meet you
We stayed together for 16 years after that date. 🙂 Give her a chance, and go easy on being on time at first ESP if she’s a single mom.
Hope she is cute…
Jesus Christ this is awful. Update us!!
You’re losing points in general for being a sook about it . The world doesn’t revolve around you and she still showed up even though she obviously had a busy day has a lot on her plate and has been rushing to try and make it ,when she could’ve (should’ve) cancelled… you haven’t even met her and already you have found a fault in her or have an issue with her… She’s probably already so stressed about how late she is so maybe don’t give her an attitude about it and let her enjoy herself?!?! It’s not like she was acting rude or as if she didn’t care or as if it didn’t matter that she was late … she was rushing !!
“Something about her sons practice” is the line got me… you didn’t even listen to or seem to care about what the reason was as to why she was late … and it’s Cos of her kid lololol
Snap the fuck out of it 🙄😩
If it was such a problem then you should’ve cancelled rather than wait for her with an attitude about it. 🤮
As a person with adhd this sounds exactly like something I’ve done. I’m not saying that it’s something you should tolerate, but there is a chance it’s not intentional but also adhd is not an excuse for rude behavior. It can be a cause for it though.
ahhhhh i overslept my first date
Wow! YOU are 100% a total gentlemen!! So sorry this happened to you.
I read this thinking how, how is someone this late? Her being high explains it all. I’d have cancelled the date when she texted that she was hopping in the shower. I’d have said, “Hey, it sounds like our schedules are not synching up. Let me know when you’re not busy.” But I’d have figured there wouldn’t be a date because who’d want to date someone like that. Being late is so disrespectful.
My rule is, 30 mins is all anyone is getting. Then I’m either ordering food, or leaving.
Your honestly a really chill dude for waiting that long. I would have said screw it.
the only advice you need is to lose her number
Bro, you play video games? Add me so we can play multiplayer and complain about bad date experiences on voice chat!
She showed up high? Yeah she was getting drugs not kids