Don’t know if anyone has gone through this transition while healing from people pleasing tendencies but I thought it would be interesting to bring up.
Lately I’ve gotten sick of shrinking and shutting down in front of people that I’ve started having a type of anger that has fueled my confidence enough to speak up more.. sometimes I feel like the shy version of me is swinging too far out the other direction but I also don’t want to go back to that old version of myself. What’s changed is how I condone myself but what hasn’t changed is how I feel about my social situations.. the fact that I still walk away from social situations thinking that a made a bad impression that is.
Do other people feel this way even when they don’t have social anxiety? Or do they more so walk away not caring so much about how they expressed themselves?
2 comments
Tbh it sounds like two sides of the insecure coin.
One was “I have to do what people want for them to like me”
The other is “I have to show off or put others down for them to like me”
But both are about making the other person validate you.
You are complete as you are and you don’t be need others approval. Chill.
Listen to the flow and the timing of conversations, and then listen to some good jazz improvisers for comparison. It has a rhythm like music. To get your opinion heard, it helps to practice hearing the moments when you can jump in, and how long you should try to hold the solo (though if you are listening to jazz, model your behavior off of a polite player, not necessarily the featured artist who is expected to hold solos for much longer).