How often do you and your friends discuss social issues (climate, racial injustice, government, religion, etc.) and how important is it that your friends share the same opinions as you?

31 comments

1. Most times I talk to my friends for any substantial amount of time we at least briefly talk about some type of social issue. We’re all very civically and socially engaged. I find it incredibly important that my friends share the same basic values as me — but I have no issue with differences of opinion that don’t go against fact or my values. I’ll note, this has never been an issue with any of my friends before.

2. we talk about it once in a while and we pretty much share the same opinion. All of us have differing religious views – some are Catholic, some are atheist, some are Christian etc – but that doesn’t matter to any of us. We never push our opinions or religious views on anyone.

3. I’d say every now and then when something hits pretty close to us. I appreciate when my friends and I are on the same page about the big things when it comes to core values. So being on the same page about abortion rights, LGBTQ+, gun laws, etc, is important to me.

4. Pretty much anytime we talk for longer. Just comes up naturally. It’s important to me that my friends share the same basic morals as me. Like I wouldn’t be friends with racists or misogynists or whatever, but they don’t have to agree with me on every single issue.

5. I can tolerate if a friend of mine has a different opinion about taxes or city planning, but what I cannot tolerate is if someone has life threatening opinions, for example: homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, misogyny, ableism, or any other, you cannot be tolerant against the intolerant

6. That’s all fairly common for us. It’s important that we share similar ethical stances on these issues even if we don’t completely agree on implementation.

7. Almost every time I catch up with my very best friends we talk about political issues. It’s something that interests us. For the most part we agree but there is space for us to disagree. I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable to tell someone I disagreed with them and vice versa. However we all have the same views overall, I don’t think I could have a very good friend who didn’t share the same values as me.

   Edit: I’m happy to have less close friends and acquaintances with differing views, but then I don’t talk about those types of issues as often.

8. frequently, and I would say it’s important to me that my friends share at least 75% of my beliefs on the big issues. I don’t think human rights and science are things on which to compromise.

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10. It comes up all the time, they’re pretty common topics of discussion. It’s important that we align broadly on our values and identification of issues. It matters less if we have different priorities or ideas on how to tackle it.

11. Hahaha all the time oh my god. Extremely important that they are also socialists, but I’m flexible on the type of socialism.

12. A lot and very much. I don’t see myself having a conversation with someone who hates me for being me.

13. It usually comes up eventually if we’ve been hanging out long enough. I think its good to keep up with the news and discuss it with the people around you, too many people are only political online and end up very disconnected from what is actually going on in the real world imo

14. Whenever I discuss politics with my friend she eventually gets annoyed and laments the fact that her homeland hasn’t had a good leader since Mannerheim. I don’t really know enough about him so I kind of just nod along because I’d rather not discuss the never ending cavalcade of terrible leaders my homeland had over the decades.

    So it’s a topic we try to stay away from. I think if you put two people who agreed on every issue in the same room and forced them to talk politics they’d still find a way to get angry within an hour.

15. Here in Iran, we have so many serious problems with government and religious people..so it’s common to speak about all difficulties they make for people..
    I friends or colleges group, in taxi or bus anywhere, people talk about them and if someone’s opinion is so different then other, it usually makes a debate..

16. Regularly, and it’s very important to me that we share the same values. Why would I be friends with someone who doesn’t?

17. Occasionally. More so if we share the same views. But it’s not a common topic or big deal. We all have our differences

18. Pretty much most my friends depends on the relationship I have with them, it usually comes naturally. Not having the same opinion as not important but when having these discussions to have an open mind and be respectful in the discussion. To me I know the friends I’ve picked are good people who means no malice and having that mutual respect allows each other to open up the discussion of both sides fairly and respect each others opinions whether they are the same of different

19. It’s many times priority number 2 or 3 in talking topics. And honestly, I couldn’t deal principal differences in that. Little differences are ok but main principles should be quite similar, IMO

20. Every now and then, yeah it comes up. I do have a cousin whom I consider close friends who share different views to me, however they’re also the type to admit when they are wrong and aren’t as opposite leaning as I am (i.e. not extremist, more like middle-leaning the other way) which I am okay with. We do talk politics and social issues but it’s more like a discussion than a debate when we do.
    With the rest of my friends who share my opinions, again they are all the type who agree but also will say “I don’t understand enough to talk about this” if a subject they don’t know much about comes up, which I respect and see as a more important quality in a friend than their desire to discuss issues in the first place.

    I don’t keep extremists in my life, whether they share the basis of my beliefs or not. I have in the past and I was constantly bullied and put down or I was straight up insulted to my face and it was incredibly draining.

21. A lot, and very. I can be nice to people with different views from me but we won’t be close friends if you don’t share my values.

22. About 80% of the time we get together it comes up. We are all on the same wavelength.

    For me it’s pretty important. If I lived in Nazi Germany I don’t think I would have been friends with Nazis. My friends who voted for trump have not renounced him or expressed any regret. But then again we don’t break bread anymore.

23. We talk about it from time to time and them not having the same opinions as me is normal we can’t agree on everything so as long as they’re not sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, ect. It doesn’t really affect our friendship.

24. Love this question! We discuss social issues semi often, more so if something has occurred recently in the news or we are gauging others stance on something important to have some kind of dialogue. I love a good debate as long as it’s clean, intellectual, and all parties are open to different opinions. If I am speaking with someone and we don’t share the exact same view on something and they react in anger or judgement, that’s fine, but don’t ask me to share my thoughts again. I would say for the most part we all often feel similarly about most topics, but not all, and not all of my friends and I see eye to eye (which is okay). Sometimes we may agree mostly but a few ideas are different (okay with me too).

    I don’t judge others for what they believe, as long is is not harmful beliefs. As long as you respect all around you and are a kind individual, you are okay in my book. For instance, racism and homophobia don’t sit well with me, regardless of what side you learn toward. All people are people and if you don’t feel that way as a grown adult and do nothing to educate yourself or care to listen to anyone, well that’s ignorance to me.

    Life would be so boring if I only surrounded myself with people who thought the EXACT same as me. If that was the case, how would any of us grow? So, no it doesn’t matter if they share the exact same opinions, as long as they are good people.

    I do have a few friends that feel strongly about stuff and refuse to engage with anyone who doesn’t feel the same. While we agree on some stuff, I just kinda smirk to myself and keep my mouth shut when they are going on about how they don’t hang out with anyone that feels differently then them…little do they know that person is me and we get along great. Sometimes ya just zip your lip. Not all battles are worth fighting and morally I know we are the same, so I don’t care.

25. most of my friends are also indigenous and/or latine, and we will sometimes talk about some funny shit that comes up in the community, and something about social justice within our community.

    like we had a fucking field day laughing our asses off about that nasty asshole lance tsosie’s latest bullshit this week. and if we get word of a new MMIW issue, we make sure we’re all in the loop.

    but we don’t talk about much else because too much of our energy is used doing the work and we need a place to get away from all that.

26. Not often but agreeing or closely agreeing is imperative for a long term relationship.

27. we don’t talk about it much but we know we all share pretty much similar views of social issues. It is important i know where they stand on their views, i don’t think the “beliefs” can be separated from relationships.

28. We don’t discuss it because preaching to the choir is a waste of breath. My friends all lean liberal. I could not be close friends with extremists on either side, but *definitely* not the far right.

29. Constantly and it’s very important that I socialize with people who have similar values and concerns. Conservatives have gone full Fascist, so there’s basically zero gray area to the political divide these days.

30. I value friends who share the same and different opinions than my own. I don’t wish to have an army of same-minded people as it doesn’t encourage growth or open mindedness. As long as their opinions don’t perpetuate imminent violence then I’m sure we can work past it.

    Romance-wise…unsure

31. Somewhat often.

    I’d say its pretty important. Its not the end-all-be-all with certain people.

    I used to not think so and was very tolerant, but thats because I was growing up in a place where nobody matched my values and I was an outlier. Now that Ive moved and Im surrounded by like minded people, I realize how much easier it is and more effortless my relationships are.