We tried to fix our marriage after i suffered a miscarriage. he begged me for forgiveness and i fell for it and let him back in my life despite everyone telling me to leave and never go back . i was on bed rest for several days and he was trying to contact me nonstop so i gave in … i thought maybe he’d change seeing me in so much pain but i was wrong . once i healed he started to act like his normal self again . we got into an argument over his indefinitely and he over powered me . he beat me again and this time it was so much worse .i feel that this is my fault . how could i let him hurt me again ? all i want him to do is love me and be here for me but he can’t even do that .. i’m so in love with him and i can’t find a way out i’m way in too deep … but i can’t handle the beatings anymore 🥺 i can’t remember the last time i went a day without crying
40 comments
Divorce and miscarriage is not your fault
Leave him. Now.
Leave him. If needed also file a restraining order.
I’m sorry OP. But you do not have to live like this, you do not deserve it, this is not your fault. You need to leave this violent man, as soon as you can. He does not deserve your love or loyalty. If it is hard to leave for practical reasons, start planning right now. Put away some money if you can. Contact support organisations for domestic violence. Talk to a lawyer if you can. Put a plan in action and make yourself ready.
Please get out, save yourself and save your life, your future. You deserve better! You are NOT in too deep, there is no such thing. It might look scary, I know, cos I have been there, at the hands of an abusive partner. But you can, and the hard part is the first part.
GET OUT.
Find support at a shelter and leave.
Leave and go No-contact
This won’t be easy. You need to leave. It’s not your fault. It’s never ok for him to put his hands on you. I’m sorry you had the miscarriage, but now that means a child won’t keep you in contact with him for at least 18 years. Take this as a sign. None of this will be easy, but later in life you’ll see it was the right decision to leave. Again, this is not your fault and nobody deserves this
You’ll never make him change. The beatings will get worse and worse. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them. Get professional help from your local domestic violence organisation. Call the police when he beats you. Go to the hospital and tell them what’s happened. You’ll need evidence because you’re going to need a restraining order at some point.
I sincerely hope you leave and don’t become one of the women who is killed every 11 minutes by their partner or family member.
You made a mistake getting back with him so now it’s time to put it right but get help from professionals to do it.
Do you have a place where you can say? Like a friend or a family member? If you dont, go to a women’s shelter
I you do, then pack your important things like passport, id, birth certificate, marriage certificate etc and personal belongings **while he is at work** and get out of there.
DO NOT TELL HIM IN ADVANCE that youre leaving him and dont tell him where youre going. Some violent partners view this as an escalation and lash out even more.
Once youre out of there and save, contact the authorities. There is also institutions who help women who have been abused by their partners, often they offer emotional support as well.
>i’m so in love with him and i can’t find a way out i’m way in too deep
Also, i dont want to judge but this sounds a lot like trauma bonding. Often the victims in an abusive reltionship rationalise this behavior and justify it even.
“My man beat me, because i mustve done something wrong; i must deserve it and he deserves better”
But this is a trick by the brain to make sense of this senseless behavior and violence.
You do not to live like this, OP, this is not love. This is abuse, this is violence. This is not love.
None of this is your fault and you don’t deserve any of this. It’s his fault, and he won’t change.
There are organisations supporting people who are in abusive relationship and will help you to get out.
Get all your important papers and contact a shelter for victims of domestic violence.
Go no contact, change your phone and phone number.
If there is evidence for the violence (if you visited a doctor or hospital to treat your injuries for example or of you already called the cops on him) or stalking after you have left, you might talk to police about this.
Best of luck to you.
He’s going to kill you.
That’s how this is going to end up.
You can see the escalation yourself.
He will not stop hitting you until either you leave him and report him to the police, or you are dead.
Based on your post history I’m not sure which will happen first.
Domestic violence is a big no-go. You need to contact the authorities, family and close friends to find a place to go.
You divorce and leave.
This isn’t love sweetheart, it’s a trauma bond. It’s an abuse cycle. Ask yourself what he really brings into your life that’s positive. If it’s generic responses like when he’s nice we get along, remind yourself that’s the bare minimum. If you can love a man that treats you so badly, you can love one that treats you well. This man isn’t worth your time. Please reach out to a shelter and leave. Don’t give him warning, pack up Anna go when he’s gone. You need to stay safe. He will never stop cheating, he will never stop hitting you, he will never be able to give you what you want.
This isn’t love. None of it is your fault. He isn’t cheating bc of any of your shortcomings. He’s cheating bc he’s selfish and only cares about what he wants in the moment. You can’t make him care. You can’t make him change. There’s nothing here to salvage. Get out while you can. Get in therapy and don’t let this become a pattern in your life. Thank goodness you haven’t tied yourself to him with children. You’re so young, your whole life is waiting for you. Be strong. You can do this. You deserve more. You are worth more than this. Please know that.
Question for you, why do you leave him for good?
You leave him
Please get out. You are not a object. You are a very valuable individual who deserve to be loved . He doesn’t deserve you .
You need to get out of the situation NOW. Don’t even wait. Go to a family member, a shelter, anyplace where it’s safe.
The ONLY way is to leave immediately. There’s not sugarcoating this, he’s abusing you and you need to leave NOW.
Stop that NOW. This your love is torture. You need to move away, never shall be back. Who is that person that can have such a power over you? You are human beings valance is illegal, do something, save your life. How can allow this to happen to you and why extend it? About guilt you have nothing to do whit valance but it is definitely your fault to let it go over time.
I hope your husband doesn’t know that you use Reddit and be able to see this. You must stop this relationship, but extreme precautions and DO NOT BE ALONE OR JUST WITH SOMEONE HE CAN OVERPOWER when he finds out, in fact, I probably wouldn’t tell him in person nor in a private space as he might become even more aggressive when you do. After you are safe and before he finds out, tell everyone you know that they must not give him any kind of information that he might be able to use to locate you
Do not hesitate to contact the police to keep yourself safe. You must be your own priority.
There are millions of men out there. The chances of this guy being the best you can find is of less than 1/100.000.000. You just need to take precautions, be brave, and start a new life without looking back. He might kill you if you keep this relationship
You need to leave NOW! Before it gets worse, it will never ever stop
This is not your fault. If you stay with him he will kill you. What more do you need to know? Contact a local woman’s shelter.
He’s not going to stop. There’s no magic button. You need to divorce him and not look back. Love can’t fix this, if it could, it would have already. Life does not have to be this way if you don’t wantit to be. You do deserve better and better is out there but you need to leave to get there. It won’t be easy. Trust me I know! I’ve been there. But it is possible.
Leave him or be killed.
Edit: just read your previous posts. You posted stuff a year ago about him abusing you. People advised you most strongly to leave him then.
Why are you still with him?
Girl you need therapy and you have a horrible trauma bond. Leave he will
Hurt you and he doesn’t love yu
You can’t and everyone who told you to leave was right. Good news! You can let them be right. Leave.
You can’t control or change other people, you can only change and control yourself. It’s not up to you to fix this or fix him. He needs to fix himself. And, you need to fix you too.
Both of you need to work on yourselves. Why are you waking up every day choosing this life? To be hurt. To be his personal punching bag? To walk on eggshells trying to avoid triggering him?
You can choose different, for you. There is help out there. Domestic violence shelters that will take you in and help you get on your feet. You know this.
Sometimes the hardest step is letting go of your ego and admitting that you need help. That’s hard. You can do it. 5 seconds of courage can change your entire trajectory.
Choose different. Choose you.
You get out of his reach. Leave him. I left someone I loved with all my heart at 23. It is possible and you are capable whether you believe it or not.
Yo need to remove yourself from his presence forever. That’s the only way
Things will never get better they just get worst. Abusive people will always be abusive. They cut you off from your friends and family they make you feel like their the only option and take away all hope of getting out. The longer you stay the harder it is.
The only way to stop the beatings is to leave him. You cannot change him. There is nothing that you can change about yourself to stop the beatings while staying because the problem that causes his violence is inherent to him, not you.
You can’t make him stop. He cheats on you and hits you, he’s broken. You can’t do anything except leave. Do it quietly and carefully but don’t stay another day in this horrible situation. You are strong and you can do this. Stay safe.
Leave him. This is the only solution.
It’s a no brainer. Run!! I see you posted he belted you while you were pregnant. You went back. Now your baby is dead because of him, and you go back. Just run!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do you stay. Do you like being beaten, do you like him killing your child, what is it that keeps you there, run!!!!! There are good men out there, find yourself, then fine one.
Go to the police
She will stay and continue to write about it on social media because “ he really loves her”
He doesn’t love you. What he loves is controlling and beating you. He knows that you’re in love with his disgusting ass and uses this to manipulate you when you leave him. It’s so easy for him to say *I’m sorry* and *I won’t do it again* because he doesn’t mean it. He couldn’t give 2 fucks about you. I’m sure this isn’t the first time you’ve heard advice from your family and friends to leave him for good and we here on reddit are no different. I guarantee that you will continue staying with him so why are you asking for advice? What could we possibly say that would make you wise up and take control of your life? I watch a lot of ID channel and I could actually see your story played out. Your family and friends being interviewed and what happened on the day that they couldn’t get in touch with you. Your parents finally decided to go to your house and your husband tells them that you were cheating on him and ran away with the boyfriend. Meanwhile he had already killed you, chopped you up, places pieces of you in garbage bags then either buried or dumped your remains in the ocean. Yup. I wonder what season and episode you will be on.
In all seriousness, do you want to die? Because that’s how you’ll end up if you keep letting this monster abuse you. A man that loves you doesn’t hurt you, doesn’t beat you, and doesn’t kill you (emotionally and literally). A man that loves you does just that, LOVE YOU. This man does not love you. Are you going to let him kill you?