I’m 23F and have only started properly dating this year. A couple of times, I’ve been rejected with the reasoning that the guy I’m dating “needs a break from dating”.

Most recently, I asked a guy (23M) out on a third date. We met on hinge, he messaged me first and initiated the first two dates. Between the second date and me asking him out again we had been texting pretty consistently. A couple of hours after I asked him out he said he needs a break from dating for a while, he’s feeling worn out, doesn’t know what he’s looking for, and doesn’t want to carry on if his heart’s not in it. I can handle rejection so I just said thanks for letting me know, but I gotta wonder, is this just him finding a nice way to let me down without saying he doesn’t like me? Why would he (or anyone) be on dating apps and initiate dates only to need a break from dating a week later?

I was tempted to ask him but I don’t wanna seem desperate so I left it.

5 comments
  1. Just an excuse, you weren’t it for him, so this is one of the typical soft rejections

  2. >but I gotta wonder, is this just him finding a nice way to let me down without saying he doesn’t like me?

    It could be an excuse, we can’t know for sure and neither can you, unless you run into him dating another girl next week. That said, it can be real, though even then it doesn’t necessarily mean he would have liked you back otherwise. I’ve been this guy, calling it quits for a while. It was either because I felt like it was pointless and draining since I didn’t meet compatible women, or because I met some women who were compatible on paper but didn’t excite me and I thought maybe I was hung up on something if I couldn’t get excited by any of these women. Logically I was probably missing something tangible in most of them, but when it keeps happening I get to that moment where I think maybe I’m the problem and should just take a break to not hurt anymore of these lovely women.

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    >Why would he (or anyone) be on dating apps and initiate dates only to need a break from dating a week later?

    Most people are on the apps against their better judgement, so this isn’t that weird.

  3. Did yall have sex yet? He is on dating apps because he wants causal sex. You are on dating apps to look for a relationship. He wanted causal sex and you didn’t give it to him so he doesn’t want to continue going on dates for a “chance” of getting sex. Damn I feel like all guys can see this but no girls can lol

  4. That’s called a “soft rejection”. I call it a waste of your time.

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