I’ve been with my bf for 3 years. He’s tried a few times but not more. I do like haveing sex with him but sometimes at the end of the night I’m sad bc he never try’s to get me to finish too. I know it might be hard to figure a girl out bc we are a bit different I just wish he’d try more. I feel like our relationship would probley be better if I finished to a few times a week rather then just him everyday. Idk I just feel like if he loves me why doesn’t he care if I orgasm or not? We have issues in our relationship but I still love him and we have a baby together I just don’t know what to do, I try telling him sometimes and I think he just feels like it’s to much, takes to long, he thinks his younger is to short and also he just kinda avoids it every time I bring it up.
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> Idk I just feel like if he loves me why doesn’t he care if I orgasm or not?
You should feel like that, because that’s exactly what it is. You’ve communicated it with him and he doesn’t care to change.
I would try to talk to him again and explain how you want him to pay more attention to you. Maybe try new things or introduce toys into the bedroom to help you orgasm too
During sex take control one night see what happens … Show him where it feels good …be in control and when hes in the right place tell him …. See what happens …
But ultimately he should care about your pleasure and if he does he will appreciate the guidence you provide for him
When I was in my early 20s I had the same problem. It was difficult to reach orgasm. I didn’t relax and I was so worried about taking too long that i put too much pressure on myself. However my partner never made me feel like I was taking too long or it was too difficult. He always made me feel comfortable and relaxed. He would go down on me for an hour until I got there. We’ve been together 9 years now and have the best sex and I always cum, multiples times.
My point is that the right partner will take the time and effort to get you there! I’d stop having sex with him until he gets you off! Your pleasure is JUST AS IMPORTANT AS HIS!
That’s a shame.
Does he go down on you?
Well, he had 3 years to figure you out
Do you think you’d still be together if he hadn’t had an orgasm for 3 years?
If he loved you, he’d appreciate your feelings. If he only cares about him cumming and not you, he isn’t worth it. Give him an impasse that you’ll only let him climax if he makes you climax.
He’s never going to just “figure it out” at this point. You need to tell him. and not in a “you’re not getting it done for me” kind of way, but a “you need to do X. Do it slower. Yes – now keep doing that” and also a “watch me do this, now you do this” kind of way.
It sounds like he’s been given no incentive to change from you, because you are happy to get him off and is able to duck the conversation when you bring it up. So stop letting him “avoid it” when you bring it up. And make it clear he needs to put in the work before he gets what he wants.
Here is some real truth that will aerve you well your entire life. Show your man what you like. Ask him what he likes doing and what he wants sone. Wotk your magic. As a woman you are the holder of the power even if you are shy. If a woman told me to do this and that and that and she orgasmed i would happily do that for her with obvious love and affection but with a purpose. Talk to your man. If he doesn’t listen then he really ain’t your man. That is truth.
I have been through this. No matter how much you love him, there’s going to be temptation to stray (by you). It won’t last forever this way. A gauntlet has to be thrown down. If he’s willing to talk and make some changes so that you can share in the pleasure. If he’s not interested in trying, please don’t waste your life and youth on something that’s important. You shouldn’t have to give up orgasms if you can have them.
You have to tell him. Be blunt! Be honest! You would think he would love to keep going and try hard for you. I would I think most guys would, even if we had to get a toy involved.
Only other advice is make him give you lots of foreplay before penetration. Then your motor is running by the time he starts hopefully you will be closer.
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Good luck! If it doesn’t help hit me up im 27…
Very selfish, quite frankly very rude too. He is just still to immature to understand your needs as a women in a relationship where your supposed to be a team helping each other out till your both happy no matter the cost