Balancing husband’s/our business, my career, and marriage is getting to us

TLDR: Money and time is tight. I was invited to go on free work trip to Alaska. Husband is angry/upset, but (I think) ultimately just wants to go. Even after earlier this year saying we shouldn’t go on a trip because of time and money. And even if he went, we would only really spend 1 or 2 days together. He would spend most of the time by himself. I don’t think its the right time, but I am agreeing to the cost to make him happy. Is he being unreasonable or am I being selfish?

Background on us: Been married 3 years, originally both earning 80k/yr, husband quit corporate job \~7/8 months ago to start new website development business, I took a new job 1 year ago (higher pay/more responsibilities), we own 2 rental properties, no kids, live in a higher cost of living area. I would like some honest/unbiased opinion if I am in the wrong or if my husband is… and what should I do moving forward?

Context on Situation: On several occasions for the past 6 months, I had been bugging my husband to go somewhere fun on vacation (Costa Rica, Alaska, etc.). We looked and then my husband came a way with it being too expensive with him trying to start his business. In May we knew we would have a tenant leaving one of our properties end of June/July. And we planned 4 weekends to get it turned around and rented. However it has been taking much longer due to under estimated effort for an improvement work that needed to be done. We are currently renting and were thinking about moving at the end of our lease August 30th. I am taking PTO to visit my elderly Grandmother first week of August Tuesday – Friday. I made a point not to schedule it on a weekend as I knew our properties may make it busy for us.

Situation: I got invited to go on a “incentive trip” for work mid August. This trip is meant to be a bonus or “good job” for doing well. The few people going are upper level management. I am the youngest, newest, and only 1/2 females going. The trip is to go to Alaska Salmon fishing, etc. I did not “ask” my husband if I could go per say. I was very excited about the trip and more or less danced up and down in the kitchen when I found out about the trip right before departing ways working on fixing up our rental home. At this time we did not know that the timeline for this turn was going to take longer than anticipated. This made my husband very angry. A day later we have a sorta unproductive conversation about it. He was angry at how I reacted to the situation. He felt I should have approached asking to go on the trip differently. He said that the trip timing was not good as we are busy with house and potentially moving. He stated he was also jealous. The conversation ended and the next day at work I booked my flights as I had a deadline to accept the trip to respond to. I may have also been angry and felt that why shouldn’t I go? I felt like I worked hard and I earned it. I also felt like my husband thought it would be too expensive to go, but my work was paying for my trip. However, I knew deep down he really would like to go. The next weekend we had another argument about it and my husband asked me to ask my boss if spouses could go. I knew the answer I would get from work, but I asked my boss anyway. The answer was no. Given that this trip is with upper level management, it would be weird anyway. I know my husband sensed my reluctance to ask my boss. My husband made statements during our arguments about how now he never wants to go to Alaska or any of my work functions because of this trip. My work is “driving spouses apart on purpose.” Every time I bring it up he is upset about it and bring up different reasons. None of which are really the truth. I looked up the cost of travel for him to go, and told him, if he wants to go, it’s his decision. The cost for him to go is not cheap ($>3k). I told him if we want to spend some time together, I will need to request some time off before or after the trip and move my flights. I may not get approval to take time off as we will be busy at work and I am already taking time off to visit my grandma and for this trip. He made accusatory statements saying I don’t want him to go. This isn’t true. I want to go with him, but I would rather go with him in a year when we have more time together and we are not so busy. He would rather go now even if we only spend 1-2 days together. I think the right decision is just to request the PTO and book the trip no matter the cost to make him “happy.” At this point, I am not sure he will be happy when he gets there. Is he being unreasonable? Or am I being selfish and insensitive?