I agreed to go on a date with someone “this Saturday” and they wrote back “next Saturday.” I already asked them if they mean 29 Jan or 5 Feb, but they responded with an ellipsis. I’m thinking about cancelling because we already can’t agree on semantics. Why does this have to be difficult? Isn’t dating already difficult enough?
Here’s the convo:
Him: “Do you want to meet this weekend?”
Me: “yes, if Saturday works for you”
Him: “okay”
Me: “this Saturday at 5 PM at X”
Him: “That sounds good. Next Saturday.”
Me: “this Saturday or next Saturday?”
Him: “next Saturday”
Me: “29 Jan or 5 Feb”
Him “…”
36 comments
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If they don’t make concrete plans or clarify, it’s a game. If you pick a date and they do anything but say yes or counteroffer with a specific time/place, they’re playing a game. If they don’t show or they go MIA, they’ll claim you never set a date and it’s still a game.
People that do this don’t want you: they want the attention you’ll give or the ego-stroke from making you jump through hoops trying to see them.
Ghost that fool.
I find that quite rude of him. If I’m this turned off by the way someone communicates this early on, I wouldn’t want to proceed. If “…” is literally the only thing he sent last, I’d probably text back something like “It seems like we have trouble communicating with each other so I don’t see this working. Let’s just call this off.” Bye and next.
Please tell me this conversation took place on Saturday. I just think there is some miscommunication. However, you guys are still strangers, so it happens.
It seems like it’s meant to be this Saturday based upon the prior this weekend conversation. Hopefully he just gives some clarity and it can move forward. He may also think you’re joking around/teasing about his use of grammar. Maybe just clarify that you’re genuinely confused and want to make sure it’s Jan 29. Or he could be genuinely stupid.
Yeah no time for that lol
Yeah.. file him under “bin”
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I can’t tell when this conversation took place. Where I live, “this weekend” is still in effect (it’s Sun, Jan 23). So i would of thought he was asking if we were wanting to get together before this weekend is over. If you countered with “Yes, Saturday” I’d think oh, okay, next weekend then (Sat Jan 29). If you then asked Jan 29 or Feb 5, I’d think you were throwing out a third option (not this weekend, but either next weekend or the week after.” I would have clarified Jan 29 and thought it just an odd miscommunication.
However, if you had this convo in a part of the world where it was already Monday, i’d see the upcoming weekend as “this weekend.”
ya that’s a non-communicator right there. in my experience it cant be fixed. Just move on
I should start a poll for how many people think “next Saturday” means this upcoming Saturday or the following Saturday.
Cancel. Whatever miscommunication you had, that is a dick response. He’s playing games with you.
On the one hand, I think when we don’t know someone, it can be hard to judge what is a miscommunication or them being shy/anxious, vs what is an incompatibility, so I’d air on the side of going on the date.
On the other hand, this seems like a pretty simple and common miscommunication, and the fact that he totally failed to engage in communication to resolve it would make me worry about communication down the road. Can you imagine how exhausting picking a restaurant for a date with this guy would be, if he doesn’t begin to communicate better?
BTW: to me, this Saturday means ‘this coming Saturday’ and next Saturday means ‘not this coming Saturday but the next’.
This happens between my cousin and I when planning a hangout. I’ll say this Saturday and my cousin will say next Saturday and we mean the same Saturday, as in the soonest Saturday. So I always reconfirm the actual date, like you did. I have a keen attention to detail so I like to clarify when a word is used that could have a different meaning to different people, so I’d be pretty perplexed by his reply, especially considering there was no attitude or humour from my end.
I know a lot of people who have different mindsets about “this Saturday” vs “next Saturday.” I ALWAYS clarify by asking for an actual date.
No one has ever had an issue with it. Sometimes they’ll kind of laugh about it, but they understand that I’m just trying to avoid any potential confusion.
The “…” especially pisses me off and seems super rude. Communication is important to me, I wouldn’t bother with this guy.
This convo hurt my brain lol
Dear OP…what freaking game is he playing? He wrote THIS weekend (let’s pretend your convo was texted today Sunday Jan 23) the upcoming weekend should be Jan 29. After you set the time..he changed to “next weekend” ….hope this message did not just end with only saying “…”
I would find this to be disrespectful and move on. Completely ignoring him
I mean I’m a guy and if someone did that to me they wouldn’t be fucking meeting me nowhere. Just saying if you can’t communicate and be straightforward on something so simple there ain’t no reason to keep on going.
Lol imagine having a discussion about a serious disagreement with this guy. No thank you.
Eww. Terrible communicator, huge turn off.
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This is the most benign miscommunication imaginable and this kind of belittling and dismissive response is his go-to for such a small miscommunication. Do you really want to stick around for the response when you miscommunicate about something that actually matters?
At this point I wouldn’t want to date this person, but I would want to mess with them. Set up the date for “next Saturday”, then when he shows up on 29 Jan and asks you where you are tell him you thought he meant 5 Feb. If he shows up on 5 Feb, then you thought it was 29 Jan.
Does he just want to argue or something?
LMAO, ahahaha…dating in 2022. 😂😂😂
I would cut your losses. Based on that small interaction, he sounds like a pain.
Trash answer, he’s done
He’s being a pedantic asshole, tbh. He either thinks you’re stupid, or are playing stupid, which is why he responded with “…” when you wanted to confirm the date.
He specifically said “that sounds good” when you suggested “this saturday” but then tried to correct your speech in saying “[it’s] next saturday.”
At least, that’s my take on it.
I’d ask him what his problem is as a direct response to the “…” but, in my experience, that kind of conversation you had and that kind of response indicates him losing patience with you already. As others have said, if this is how he deals with a “communication issue” so early on, do you want to stick around and see what else he gets pissy about, or how mean he gets about it if it’s something more significant?
He could’ve just…simply answered her properly.
He literally said ” this weekend,” but then says “next saturday” and responds like that when you try to clarify?! If he’s like this over a simple communication, imagine something big.
Thank you, next!
I’d respond with “Forget it.”
Let them then figure out if you meant the question or the date.
I hate murkiness… whether in water or words.
Oh god, that’d be a “bye” for me. Even when you disagree, his response is a good insight into how he deals with miscommunication. You’re gonna have a baaad time with this kind of dude.
Imagine talking with him in person.
“I would like coffee”
“Cappuccino is good here”
“Tea”
“So you would like coffee or tea?”
“…”
His lack of communication skills has me dried up.
He’s so passive aggressive
I think people are arguing semantics here, and tbh it doesn’t matter which way you swing on this.
What matters is that he couldn’t just nicely answer the damn question to clarify setting up the date. He can fucking argue semantics later for fun, now is not the time.
Cancel, and walk. Jerk. Yuck.
How is everyone focusing on “this” or next”. The dude used both to mean the same day on the same Convo. It opens up with “…this weekend…” And then he goes on to claim “next Saturday” is the correct form.
This is what bothers me more. Homeboy isn’t even consistent in his own use of the word.