Girl I’m dating has issues with sex due to verbal abuse after sex with an ex partner. She says that she wants to have sex with me in the future, but needs to get over this first of all.
I really like this girl and I think we’ve got great potential. Having said that, I wouldn’t date her if she was asexual as sex is important for me. Although I believe she is worth waiting for, I do have a limit, I don’t know exactly what that limit is though.
I’m in another country atm, since I’ve been gone, she’s gone from us having no talk about sex whatsoever, to having phone sex every night with both of us masturbating to the sound of the others voice. We’ve already changed things up a fair bit in a short amount of time, but actual sex could take longer
How long should I wait? I’m willing to be patient , but I am still a guy, and can’t wait forever
1 comment
What proactive measures is she taking to get over it? Is she in therapy?
It’s hard to put a time frame on it. I find myself leaning toward the sanguine about these things and I’ll take the heat that comes with that; but if you don’t really want to be dealing with the mental blocks, triggering situations, unexpected trauma responses and being patient with her possibly very erratic sexual desire that comes from having trauma, then don’t date a woman who’s told you she’s dealing with sexual trauma. You’ll only end up hurting her if you can’t give her the reliable support that she needs and it’s not going to be fair to either of you.
It’s more than I personally would feel equipped to deal with, and it’s ok (at least by me) if you feel the same way.