This is more of a rant. I can think better when I type things out.
Okay I may have posted about this here before but it happened again- I was hit with a request that I didn’t know how to respond to and I don’t know why because it’s not even weird or anything and I used to be able to respond (very well) to this but for some reason just felt fucking stupid when it came up tonight and I think it turned my partner off so UUUGGH.
Anyways the thing that was said was “beg for my cum”
I completely drew a blank on how to beg?
I started saying “ please give it to me I want your cum deep inside me I want to feel you cum I want it so bad please cum for me” okay which typing that I feel like that’s standard and decent enough but like…. I feel like I could’ve done better than that and I’ve been trying to work on it but idk I think maybe it was the way I was saying it? Maybe it sounded like I didn’t mean it?
Tbh I was a bit triggered by the particular words because it’s something my abusive ex used to say a lot and I already wasn’t TOO into the sex my partner had tonight because I’m really stressed out right now. That’s probably the whole issue idk
4 comments
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1. Dont overthink it, it sounds fine.
2. Set boundaries to not have your partner say or do things that are triggering for you
3. It’s okay to say no. To sex if you’re stressed out, to dirty talking if you’re uncomfortable.
4. Sounding more genuine is easier when you’re giving your enthusiastic consent, which doesn’t seem like is what was going on there.
5. You can literally ask your partner what he expects of you when he says this, so that you are ready next time. You can also ask him to guide it a bit more if there’s something he wants to hear in the moment by asking you questions instead, like “do you want my cum deep inside of you?”, then you can just say “yes, I want your cum deep inside of me please!”. If he is feeding you the words, it becomes much easier. Once he’s done this enough you’ll probably know exactly the kind of things he likes to hear, and not even need the guidance anymore.
I’d still like to reiterate that you do not have to do things that trigger you or make you uncomfortable and that boundaries are important, though. Good luck 🙂
Firstly, stop replying to that nomagnumneeded1 dickhead, he is being unhelpful and rude. No room for that shit here.
Secondly, I think what you said is absolutely fine and you are overthinking it. He asked you to beg for his cum and you did just that, good job! A good next step is to have a conversation with him about if it is something you BOTH want to explore more. Ask him how what you said made him feel, and whether he has any tips on the kind of stuff he wants to hear. How did it make you feel? What does he feel when he hears you say that? etc etc. Communication is key here. You’re new to this and it’s normal to be nervous, and if you want to, you will get more confident the more you both explore this.
As for some small starting tips here are some of the things you could say:- “I love feeling your cum inside me, please let me feel it again”- “I need to feel your dick filling me up”- “Cum for me, come on, that’s it etc etc”- “I want to hear you come, I want to hear how pleased I make you”
Unless you know more about what he might want to hear, it will be quite generic, sorry about that. But sex is full of experimentation. Maybe he doesn’t even know what he wants to hear, and that’s a fun time to experiment with new sentences. Get brave. Some of it might turn you both on immensly, and some of it might make you both burst out laughing. Sex is funny, that’s a great part of it.
Good luck with it OP!
edit: Typo
I also felt really awkward when I first started to use dirty talk. Honestly, it comes with time. Just try to say whatever feels good in the moment. Usually, if it involves sex talk and you’ve both communicated about boundaries, no one really questions the quality of it.