**First of all, this is NOT for discussion, I don’t care what you think about the war thing so keep your opinion to yourself. I just want your opinion on what I ask, thank you!**
TL;DR: My in laws are mad at me and my husband for things our daughter posted about a past war between our countries. And I don’t want them to be mad at me because I love them, but at the same time I don’t want to tell my daughter that she has to stop thinking that way. So I’m between a rock and a hard place, and I don’t know what to do, what would be the best thing to do in this case?
She’s only nine but she uses whatsapp because we live in another country and she loves talking to her cousins and grandparents (65M 62F) even if they are far away. So we let her use her phone for at least two hours a day to talk to them.
Yesterday, April 2, was a very important date in my country because we remember our war veterans and those who lost their lives fighting for what we believe is our land. And in school here we are all taught about that and we always call the islands, Malvinas, no matter what they call it there, for us they are and always will be the Islas Malvinas, and my daughter grew up with that and she calls the islands that way too. But she calls them that because she wants to, no one ever forced her to take a side in that conflict because well, her dad is British and I’m not and we don’t want her to feel pressured.
She loves to read about history and stuff and she knows a lot about the war and she also likes talking to our neighbor who is a veteran, and she adores him. So yesterday she posted on her WhatsApp status a pic I took of her with our neighbor a few weeks ago and also posted a pic of her entire class with an Argentine flag that had the phrase “Malvinas Argentinas” written on it. My in laws saw them and they were really mad. My mother in law texted me that I was being a bad influence on my daughter, that I’m telling her a bunch of lies to turn her against “her people,” and then told my (26F) husband (30M) that he shouldn’t let me do that, but I didn’t do anything. But they can’t understand that, I love my country with my whole life and I will always remember my people and I will always respect their memory, but I will never try to force my daughter to think as I think because she is not me, she is another person and I want her to listen to both sides and decide which part of history she’s going to believe.
I’m not the kind of person who hates other people just because of what a few people did years ago, but for some reason they think I am and they’re furious with me and my husband for letting me “indoctrinate” our daughter. And I don’t want them to be mad at me because I love them, but at the same time I don’t want to tell my daughter that she has to stop thinking that way. So I’m between a rock and a hard place, and I don’t know what to do, what would be the best thing to do in this case?
2 comments
>what would be the best thing to do in this case?
In your shoes I’d just ignore the in-laws. They can be mad but they can’t tell you how to parent your kid and your child has her own mind, as she’s demonstrating.
Of course they are always the Malvinas. Let them be mad? Protect your daughter and allow her to express herself as she wishes. Your daughter’s people aren’t just her father’s, but yours also. How is your husband standing up for you & your mutual parenting, which is your business and not your in-laws’? (Also, ignoring adults when they have inappropriate fits like your inlaws are having is a powerful response.)