For example in a grocery store, on the street, at a park etc.

41 comments

  5. The trick is to be smooth, confident, and at least a 7/10. Better to just look for mutual friends or find a hobby.

  7. Never. Attractiveness is not enough incentive do it. Sometimes I just like to admire, then move on.

  8. When I was on the market, I would do it here and there… but only when the body language was right.

    If I caught a girl looking at me, or we caught eyes/made a passing joke.

    You only do it when the hints are very strong…

  9. Never because it would be creepy, also i’m more worried about my own shit.

    Yes, i’ve had what one calls “bus crushes” but never act on them except that one time where we coincidentally played the same game on the bus but it was just a short chat

  10. Never. I won’t make excuses about it being unwelcome or anything like that. I simply don’t enjoy small talk. I need good reason to be talkin to anyone. It’s not even that I’m particularly shy. I just don’t feel like I have anything. meaningful to say.

  11. I’ve always been of thinking “oh women hate to be approached in public” but very recently i realized, who cares as long as you’re not making someone uncomfortable and can take a hint when it’s time to go. Obviously just starting a conversation because you
    find them attractive isn’t going to work out very often, but maybe you compliment their style or if they have a bag from a TV show, etc. something you can actually talk about. have maybe a 2 minute convo and if the vibe is there give her YOUR number. this takes the pressure off of her, she either calls or doesn’t and you avoid the awkward-fake-number interaction.

  13. Never. I don’t think I’m quite attractive enough to not be seen as a creep or weirdo. But it’s mostly because I know that when I’m out shopping or whatever I want to be left alone, and they probably do too.

  14. Make a move on a woman? Never.

    Talk to women? Whenever the opportunity presents itself. Sometimes this leads to other things, sometimes it doesn’t.

  16. Never. Basically 99% of the time I won’t cold approach in public, but if she’s extremely attractive that goes to 100%.

  18. Never lol. I’m either content working on myself in a healthy manner, or romantically involved with someone and I respect boundaries of the people I love, as well as strangers.

  19. Here’s the thing. The girl has to actually give signals that she’s interested in order for a man to approach like what you’re suggesting. Problem is, while men don’t approach as often these days, women seem to never give off these signals or shy away from seeming too interested or whatev.

    You commented on someone else about running to catch a bus to get a girls number. In the modern age, that’s batshit insane. Hate to say but it’s true.

    So the issue isn’t just that men won’t approach, women also don’t show interest as often.

    Sad that it’s come to this bit it’s frustrating men get blamed for not being like, chivalrous and confident and just approaching and making you feel special.

    I’ve legit done this and had the woman shame me (in public, within ear shot of others) for even thinking I had a chance.

    Frankly the juice ain’t worth the squeeze in most situations (especially if you’re just a normal man).

  21. Never

    After my divorce I stayed in the same suburban neighborhood for the sake of my kids schooling.

    It’s all families out here so whenever I run errands or whatever it’s all married folks.

    And these suburban moms in their athleisure outfits don’t really inspire a second look from me anyway.

    On the rare occasion I do see an attractive woman who doesn’t have a ring on her finger, she is usually sending off strong “don’t talk to me” vibes…buried in her phone, starring at her feet, pretending you don’t exist – I take the hint and leave her alone.

  22. I used to a lot in my early twenties.

    Nowadays(32) I kind of just do my thing and don’t feel the desire to be social as much.

  23. Never at the examples you gave but at bars and clubs.

    For every 5-10 hookups I’ve had only like 1 was from approaching a woman in public. I just never had that confidence to just go for it like that lol. But sometimes with a few drinks it could happenz

  24. Never. I’m not the kind of guy that gets the girl. I’m more the guy who’d get charged for sexual harassment because I used a pick up line. I’m not even a bad guy. And the people I know generally like me. I don’t make moves because this possibility exists. And it sucks but the fear is real.

  25. I’m not making a move on a woman till she makes a move on me. Plenty of times in college I had opportunities, but I would rather not make a move than be accused of sexual assault.
    Like Im not trusting myself I’ve read the situation correctly.

  26. I’d say pretty often, at least once whenever I do get out in public.

    It just coincidentally happens to be my wife every time.

  27. We need to differentiate between “making a move” and simply “starting a conversation with”. Hitting on a random person can feel degrading, sometimes threatening (they don’t know that you aren’t a predator) and objectifying, but when someone asks if you’ve read anything else by the author of the book you’re reading at the moment, it’s way less threatening and they aren’t thinking that you’re just undressing them with your eyes.

    I think the latter case is ok. It’s still ok to talk to people in public. Just don’t be a creep about it.

  28. Never, I always have this idea that she will just scream “get off you rapist freak” and I will just walk back awkwardly and stumble on something and fall and two policemen will pick me up and arrest me for attempted rape and she would be standing there giving me a hateful look while another random guy walks past her and smiles and she grabs him and kisses him in public and everyone would cheer and say “well done chad you saved her from that rapist freak loser”
    ..
    yeah I guess my imagination is wild, but idk I think something similar would happen.

  29. Fuck….never…but I’m kicking myself for not doing so last night.

    I have never spoken to anyone while pumping gas but I was happy I found a place for 3.74 a gallon. The pumps were really slow so I was chatting with the most gorgeous woman ever…like my perfect type.

    Kicking myself for not asking for a number today.

  32. All the time. But I don’t see it as “making a move” because I never come out and say “hey you’re sexy, let’s date.” I just see it as striking up a conversation. It could be as simple as standing in line at a restaurant and asking the cute girl next to you what she thinks you should get. From there it’s all about keeping the conversation interesting and flowing to the point she’s kind of comfortable with you. One time I struck up a conversation with a cute nurse in the granola aisle at Target about our favorite granola and Greek yogurt lol. You often won’t even have to ask for a number because she’ll offer it. One of my female friends was laughing at me because she said it seems like I go out shopping and to different stores every weekend. She didn’t understand until I told her a big part of why I do that is to talk to people. That never occurred to her because she’s too shy to talk to random strangers in public like that. She’s more of the online texting type. To _her_ the norm is to see an interesting guy online and inbox him and get to know him like that. That’s actually how we started talking. But I’ve never once inboxed a woman I don’t know. That’s foreign to me. And I say most men are going to be their most attractive to women in person when they’re in each other’s physical presence.

  33. I find it very natural when a man starts a conversation and quickly into the talk he asks if I have a boyfriend. He is signaling he is interested but it also gives me the option to say yes or no depending on my interest (if I don’t have a boyfriend). I personally never assume a man is interested unless he says so.

  35. The one time I did this I ended up getting blocked a day after asking for her Instagram.

    You win some and you lose some I guess. No hard feelings about it 🤷🏽‍♂️

  40. To be honest, I don’t approach women anymore. Since women NEVER or rarely approach us guys it feel like a chore to me. I’m the one who’s expected to do all to work so I just stop trying.

  41. Back when I was available, pretty often, but then, I met my wife before dating apps became a thing. People used to be a lot more social. You used to see a lot of random conversations between strangers in grocery stores and the like. I think smartphones and social media is partly to blame for this.

    I met my wife during a random encounter. We teased, we flirted, we laughed, and went our separate ways. 100% regretted not asking for her number. One of those missed connections situations. A few months later, I randomly ran into her at a bar (again, one of those places people went to meet others). She saw me first and asked if I remembered her. Of course said yes and went on to tease her about something referencing our prior conversation. Then she said I owed her a drink because I didn’t ask for her number after that first encounter. Been together ever since.

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