I had always been very socially awkward, and often, I never know what I am supposed to say or answer to other people.

I feel like that I am not interesting and often when i try to participate to talks, I feel like I kill the conversation or doesn’t know how to maintain it even though I m trying to ask questions.

I feel like the only time I am not a failure with social is when I am able to talk about my favorite interests and causes which are important to me, but people say that I talk too much about those interests and are annoyed, and when I mention causes which are important to me, for example, fighting against gender norms or climate change and environmental disease, people get very annoyed.

I have friends that I know from 10 years ago, we met in college, and I saw them today, and I feel sad because it was a big failure. I didn’t knew at all what to say to the first one (we are no longer living at same place so this was the first time we met since years) and it was very awkward. Then by hasard we met another one who was with a friend of her. I didn’t knew how to interact. I have social anxiety and didn’t dared to talk to her friend as I don’t know him. As he left, he said goodbye to everyone except to me. I feel like I am loosing those friends because we have no interests in common, and I don’t really feel free to talk about what I like or what I consider important with them.

I had always been very awkward and feel like people think I am boring and uninteresting and it make me feel depressed

I feel like making irl friends is sometimes nearly impossible especially as an adult…

7 comments

  1. It’s hard to socialize with people outside of your favorite topics, but with a bit of work, you can change it

  4. You say “I feel” a lot, but you haven’t offered any proof that any of your thoughts are real.

  5. If you plan on failing the moment you talk, you will always fail when you talk. Your thinking is like up in orbit high, I need you to be at Patrick Star levels of thinking. Just let the conversation flow naturally, just of off your insecurities you could probably connect to half the world in rich conversations and find common ground.

  6. there’s a quote from Gandhi..

    “Your beliefs become your thoughts,
    Your thoughts become your words,
    Your words become your actions,
    Your actions become your habits,
    Your habits become your values,
    Your values become your destiny.”

    you likely need to rewire/change your limiting beliefs and thoughts that make you feel that way. I sense a lot of judgement of yourself in your words and it’s not the good kind. you are literally setting yourself up for failure. give this a try next time you’re in a social situation with a friend…

    Practice mindful listening. actually hearing what they are saying without having the need or urge to say anything back. people love to talk about themselves, evidenced when you talk about your own interests and passions, you feel like you could talk for days.

    now that you’re mindfully taking in everything the other person is putting down, you’re in a better position to keep the conversation going. you could even reiterate what they’ve said to you.

    ultimately, in order to be interesting you have to be interested. and by showing your interest through mindful listening, you’ll automatically become the type of person people will enjoy being around and after a while you’ll build rapport and the relationship will continue to develop from there. there’s always a give and take in personal relationships.

  7. I have been shy all of my life and now I want to break free. I had joined a public speaking group called toastmasters. A lot of shy and socially awkward people join it. It could be scary at times to be more social and it will take a lot of work to overcome.

    Have you tried therapy? Are you willing to read books? In that case look up Patrick King. He is an author on socializing. Are you attractive? I asked because self esteem plays a role as well.

    I am still shy and socially awkward but I am trying and believing in myself. I am this way due to my upbringing. I just don’t accept that any more.

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