For some reason, I’ve found myself obsessed with the idea of watching/sharing my wife with another man. There’s just something about watching her climax, it sends me over the edge!
We’ve never actually had a serious conversation of trying a MMF threesome. It has come up playfully while watching it happen in a TV show or something in a social media post, but she switches up at times, appearing she was into it at one point and other times saying wouldn’t be interested.
This is obviously a secret fantasy of mine, but I feel I can never bring it up for two reasons. 1) I don’t want her to view me differently and for it to effect our marriage & 2) For my feelings to change if my fantasy actually happens
4 comments
This is very normal. It might help if you understood where this was coming from. Guys often are surprised at how they suddenly focus on fantasies of infidelity. This can be deeply disturbing – the idea of getting turned on by your SO with another guy seems counter to our self-image. Most of us never imagined we would like this – and then suddenly, it’s almost an obsession. Well, welcome to one of the little surprises that evolution left for you.
What’s going on is, scientists *hypothesize*, an outcome of human sperm competition. There is a lot of research on this, but the idea is simple. Your SO fucks another male. From an evolutionary perspective – from the perspective of what will move your genes into the next generation, what do you do?
* Get angry and beat the guy up. Well, you could do that – but 50% chance you lose that fight. And this does nothing to get your genetic heritage into the future.
* Beat your mate. Once again, this doesn’t help you get offspring. In fact, it could to the opposite.
* Leave your mate – Once again, this may help your pride, but it does nothing for your genetic heritage.
* Screw your mate – a lot. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Now your sperm is in the game and might get your mate pregnant before the other guy’s sperm finishes the job. And it gets better – your penis is shaped like a plunger – and will actually pull the other guy’s sperm out of your mate’s V and insert yours instead. Now you’re competing – your genes get to move on to the next generation.
Human sexuality evolved long before modern ideas of civilized behavior – and so our sexuality if often at odds with what we really want. This is true of many of our kinks like cuckolding, age play, incest, rape fantasies. How much is due to evolution is debatable. But it looks likely that we are genetically programmed to respond to infidelity by getting excited.
Well that sucks – it can really mess with your head. Thanx evolution.
My honest opinion, once you let another man touch your wife’s body you will never see her in the same way. You can’t unsee what have seen.
Be careful, some fantasies need to stay fantasies.
It is one thing to fantasize about sharing your wife and clearly another to actually watch her being railed on by some guy.
Now, your partner should be the one person you should be able to discuss such fantasies with.
Now if you decide to try it, I usually make this suggestion. Find a swingers club to visit.
Now why?
It is a safe and secure place to experiment.
No always means no.
You can have her flirt safely, to see how you both react. If either of you feel uncomfortable you can leave.
There is no expectation to you participating.
You can observe others again to judge how you will feel fulfilling the fantasy.
There is usually on site security. If anyone gets pushy, you can report them
Everyone there knows the score. Less chance of causing a relationship issue. (No emotional connections)
There are both group rooms (so you can observe) and private rooms if you find a candidate and wish to participate.
She will have her pick of partners.
I caution using known friends. There is a higher chance of emotional issues developing and causing issues in the marriage at least until you two gain more experience and can separate intimate sex with physical sex.
You can find someone on hookup sites, but I’ve seen guys that are extremely pushy and will expect sex regardless if your comfortable or not and they tend not to respect boundaries.
Speaking of which discuss boundaries. Since so not allow kissing or anal with shared partners because it’s viewed as too intimate. Talk about various positions or acts you maybe uncomfortable sharing. This should include rough sex, spankings, fetishes etc. This is to make sure there are misunderstandings.
Just be careful I had the same fantasy. We had a threesome with antihero guy (well mainly I watched them) and she got off like I’ve never seen. It used to be ME who always tried to get her to do it and now that we did every weekend she’s asking when we’ll do it again. Also idk I know it’s my fault but idk I can’t really explain it I just kinda see her differently now as when she eas with him I’ve never saw her enjoy sex so much or be so dirty as she was