In my last few relationships I (male) have been losing interest in people I’ve been seeing and have gone from completely in love to suddenly indifferent to my girlfriends like a switch was flipped in my brain(this isn’t a good thing and I promise I don’t see it as one) even though I always feel like I have the purest love with every one of my partners. I’ve always considered myself a romantic I guess but lately when I finally feel like I’m safe in a relationship and they seem to have opened up as much as possible with me my brain just suddenly becomes completely uninterested in the person. This isn’t what I want and I’ve hurt people I care about because of this and ended great relationships, I know it’s not that we’re just incompatible.
I think it could be my pas relationships messing with me now as my first love left me without explanation, then when I finally fell fully in love again she left me too so I feel it could be that but I want to fix this. I’ve tried fixing this before and when I do I always come back to it, it’s like my heart will only let me be so close to someone before it shuts down, this has ruined 4 relationships already and if I can’t find some way to fix it I’m afraid I’ll just have to give up on love and dating because I feel I am truly no good for anyone.
Even though I still feel attraction to people and people still feel attracted to me I feel I must avoid relationships if this continues because I fear I’ll only hurt them if they get invested. If anyone has gone through this as well or anything similar and has any advice please share it with me. I don’t want to hurt the people who love me, I’ve always considered myself a romantic who would love wholeheartedly and I want more than anything to have the kind of healthy relationship with someone I love and trust completely but if this continues I really might have to just remain alone.
TLDR: I NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO STOP LOSING INTEREST AND PULLING AWAY IN RELATIONSHIPS
2 comments
In those 4 relationships, have you ever felt something like “this is the one”? If not, maybe that’s the cause of the switch-off. Simply not the one for you and you do not have to force it.
If yes, maybe you have your own issues that you are not discovering yet and that are needed to be fixed. For example, abandonment issue.
Are you familiar with attachment theory? I think learning about your attachment style and what caregiver dynamics in childhood influenced it would be super helpful for you! As long as you don’t over pathologize yourself of course 🙂 checkout the avoidantattachment subreddit as well as the healmyattachmentstyle subreddit