My GF (26F) and I (26M) started dating during our final year of college. We’ve been dating for 4 years and lived together for 2 years. Before we were official she was still entertaining a mutual friend of ours. When we became official, she swore nothing happened between them but he was actively pursuing her and wanting to get her to end it with me.
3 days ago, she had gotten her wisdom teeth taken out and the drugs turned her into a hot mess. She was super emotional and crying about random shit. I’m well aware of what these drugs can do to people because I had mine taken out a couple years back and I was acting weird too. As we pull into our apartment, she starts profusely apologizing to me for no reason and says she’s so sorry for betraying me. I asked her what she was talking about and that’s when she dropped the bomb that she hooked up with the one friend I mentioned above. She didn’t stop there either, she talked about how she missed his dick and wished she could fuck him again.
At this point, I wasn’t exactly sure what to make of all this. I basically waited until she sobered up and confronted her about the convo we had. She broke down crying and said admitted to drunkenly sleeping with him in college one time. This happened a week before we became official. I asked about the dick comment and she said that was just the drugs talking and she has no feelings for him. She said it was a drunken mistake and she knew it would hurt me so she never said anything about it. I don’t know the specific details yet and I’m not even sure if they used protection. It’s worth mentioning that we never specifically said we’re not allowed to see other people but we both assumed we were only talking to each other at the time.
I basically got up and left to go stay at my parents. She’s been blowing up my phone since then. The things that’s bothering me the most is that I really dislike this guy. He’s one of those “alpha” type guys who’s always trying to prove himself and would talk shit about me for not subscribing to that BS. There’s a ton of reasons why we never got along but I always felt like he was jealous of me. I feel like this was his way of getting back at me.
I plan on stopping by our apartment tomorrow and talking with her. I’m going to give her an opportunity to tell me the whole truth before making a decision but I really have no idea what to think right now. I realize it’s not technically cheating but she did lie about it.
24 comments
She planned on keeping this a secret for how long? Forever?
I slept with someone in my fiancé’s friend group and told him in the very early dating stages, before he even asked me to be his gf. Idk why she would feel like it needs to be a secret unless something more could be going on..
My fiancé told me he trusted me and that I could still be friends with him. He gave me the benefit of the doubt but I don’t think she deserves one. I’d give her an ultimatum. ..If my fiancé had given me one then I would have completely understood and I would have obliged. If she at all attests to it then 🚩 x10.
Me nor my fiancé agree with telling each other who we can/can’t see yet if it was this situation then we definitely would. Its sketchy.
It’s going to be difficult to trust anything she says going forward. She’s proven that she is capable of lying without guilt. She’s only sorry now, because you found out the truth.
Yikes. I think there is more to this story boss. She misses his D and fucking him. Whoa. This was apparently 4 yr ago??? I would be bet there may have been some more frequent visits to the alpha male ☹️
The problem here is that now you can’t trust a thing she says. I’d find it hard to believe it was just the one time before you were official, and after her comments when she was all drugged up make it even worse. Her comments don’t really scream it only happened one time before you were together IMO. It’s easy for her to backtrack now and say it was the drugs, but you’ll never get those comments out of your head.
Do you guys still hang out with this guy? Do they hang out alone? I also think the biggest thing for me is that she would’ve never told you, you got lucky with finding it out. She wasn’t sorry for lying to you, she was sorry she got caught.
“Missed his dick and wished she could fuck him again” doesn’t sound like they slept together just one time, drugs or not.
She actively lied about this. . . I think you know the answer. Everything will be tainted now.
Whewww! Have to agree it doesn’t sound like a one time thing here. Drug induced confession or not I’d be pretty fucked up of my woman told me she missed some dudes dick and wanted to fuck him again. Pretty sure we would be no more!
Alcohol doesn’t make you make mistakes…it makes you careless.
I’ve gotten shit drunk and I still know what I’m doing I just stop giving a shit.
I got my wisdom teeth pulled out and so did my sister and bestfriend and the 3 of us said stupid shit but we knew what we were doing.
You just careless.
She misses his dick and wish she could fuck him? Buddy your girl a hoe and there is more to it then with what she said
Yeah I wouldn’t want to stay in his relationship. Trust is shattered. You can’t trust anything she says. For all you know she is still seeing this asshole. You are still young, dump her, and move with someone else.
The Trickle truth has begun. Please Run!!!!
There is only pain in your future with this woman. You are her backup plan, probably because the alpha only wants to use her for sex, and she knows this, so no longer term relationship is possible with him. You, on the other hand, must be stable and come across a good provider, so would be safe and reliable as a potential mate. Once she has you “locked in” she will likely get the “itch” again somewhere down the road and easily slip into cheating behind your back. The “D” is a powerful force, and she has been bitten. Move on before she gets pregnant and you don’t know who the father is.
Dump that piece of trash. She doesn’t deserves anything from you.
Dip, she belongs on the streets
Drugs or not I will put good money down that it was just not a one-time thing. In fact I would feel comfortable saying that she likely has sex with him at least once in the last 2 years.
I would be very thankful you found out this information before you got married to her or anything like that.
Try as I might, I can’t possibly explain her remarks as anything other than the truth, start to finish. No amount of drugs makes someone just suddenly yearn for a long-lost lover. This yearning began with the hookup, and over the years, it has only grown stronger, until under the drugs, it came gushing out. I am truly sorry, but she is a lost cause, pining away for her “alpha” and his dong. A tearful apology is fitting, but it comes more than a bit late, and doesn’t get you back your four misspent years.
She wouldn’t have broken down crying and apologizing for betraying you if it was before you were official. “In vino veritas “ seems appropriate here. The truth came out. Ask for lie detector test if you want.
‘missed his dick’ means attachment. That’s effed up. How many times will you do it to get attached to it? 🤔
She told you she missed his dick?! I’d be done. She meant what she said. She just didn’t want you to find out. She told on herself. I’d tell her well now you’re free to get with him all she wants. Deuces.
This happened 4 years ago and that’s the thing she remembers? I highly doubt it was just the drugs talking when she said she misses his dick. She’s not being 100% truthful.
I’d leave.. I don’t nessecarily think the action of sleeping with him is wrong, I wouldn’t accept it, but I don’t think it’s wrong either. The lie tho goes into the wrong category, and the whole thing about missing his dick would just make me too uncomfortable to stay.
she hooked up with someone 5 months into you seeing her. Nope. That is cheating in my book. You decide if it is for you.
More like he is her main she can’t have and so she settled for you.
Ther drugs didn’t make her miss him they loosened her mouth and she admitted it.
She lied because she didn’t want to hurt you. More like she didn’t want you to know she still thinks about his dick and at any time she gets drunk she will give it up. Leave her.
I would never stay with a cheater. Just me though