What was it that made it clear to you whether you wanted to be a father or not?

20 comments

1. My general dislike of children

2. *gestures wildly at everything being on fire*

3. The over whelming urge to inseminate a woman

4. I did wanna be a father.. but it was more of an age thing for me.. like if i managed to make it to the age of 30 and still don’t have any kids, I probably wouldn’t have had kids.. I know a lotta people start having kids in their 30s and whatnot, but Personally, I didn’t particularly wanna be that old having my 1st child.. I mean if that would’ve ended up happening, then that just would’ve been that, but that’s just not what I’d personally prefer

5. Growing up poor and without a honorable male figure in my life. I knew by my early teens that I absolutely did not want kids. The mental, physical, financial, and spiritual toll was too much.

6. Still isn’t clear to me… I’m nearly 28 and kids love me, I’m somehow proficient at understanding what they need and when, and I’ve had enough eye-opening conversations with parents that I know I could be a really good dad.

   But I don’t like kids. They’re stupid, they’re expensive, and the world sucks- why would I want to put anyone into this?

   Maybe I could look at adoption later down the road, but if I’m having this hard of a time trying to find someone I can trust enough to stay in a committed relationship with, it’s looking unlikely I’ll ever have kids.

7. My dad didn’t have the right mental and emotional makeup to be a good father because of the way he grew up.

   He tried but I felt emotionally neglected most of the time, every now and then he was good at it but not nearly enough. I realized that I have a very similar makeup and probably wouldn’t be a good dad.

   I’m fine being a fun uncle to my relatives and friends kids.

8. The fact that my entire lineage from the beginning of human history suffered through ups and downs, from the jungles to the cities, through wars big and small, against all kinds of competition, made sacrifices in life, overcame adversities, prioritized their children who would eventually have me one day.

   Of course im having children. My lineage lives on through me, in DNA, and so will we through my children, and their children, and so on. Its a responsibility not only to myself but to my forefathers and mothers.

   It would be extreme audacity and disrespectful to my entire familial history not to have children just because “i feel bad”, think “the world sucks”, or think “kids arent for me cause kids suck”. It is true, kids arent for everyone… but thats because it requires real work and accountability. So if youre lazy and can barely take care of yourself than yea, definitely dont have kids. But if you do the work, and think beyond just yourself, at least your entire lineage wont fail with you 😂

9. living in a house with 3 women

10. I think kids are cute and I want to make some and raise them with my wife

11. My dad was a great dad. I wanted to pass that on.

12. When my wife said “I’m pregnant” haha

13. Im leaving a impact. MY GENES SHALL LOVE ON TO FOREVER TILL THE DEATH OF EVERYONE

14. I was one of the younger kids in a blended family of seven kids. I felt “loved,” but was definitely not “parented.” I knew I never wanted to put another person through that.

15. I don’t want to be a father

    Point one: It’s physically dangerous for my wife to bear children.

    Point two: I am completely mentally drained by small children, and annoyed by teenagers. Why would I want my own?

    Point three: When people expect my wife and I to have children just because we’re married. We don’t need to have children to validate our relationship.

    My wife and I are happy with just being aunt and uncle to a bunch of great kids.

16. Sandy Hook was pretty much the line for me. Since then, climate change has made the line much clearer.

17. Losing my 20s being the breadwinner to my family after dad lost his job and fallen ill. I lost a good chunk of my younghood working myself to death just so we could eat. I’m not losing my entire life providing for a kid I don’t want.

    I will enjoy my life. Come hell or high water.

18. My wife and I never wanted them. We did however want Labradors. They are cuter and smarter than most kids!!

19. My father was (maybe still is) an abusive alcoholic & my mother is a “manic depressive” (I think that’s the term).

    I’d say that bloodline ends with me, but, my father had children before me & probably had some after me. My mother also had 2 more children after she met my stepdad.

    So, their individual bloodlines will continue in some way shape or form.

    But the particular cocktail of their blood that resulted in me? That’s not going any further.

20. I think it was probably taking care of my nephew and niece for 2 months after moving back from out of state. I worked weird hours so I would watch them when my brother-in-law and sister were working. It’s been almost 2 years and I see them weekly and take them camping once a month