so there is a coworker who i have always thought was creepy from day 1 but i decided to be more open minded and try to get to know them. problem is they started oversharing information about themselves and i stupidly kept asking questions like i was actually interested in what they were telling me. and so basically they talked to me for like 30 min and i just listened mostly and occasionally asked follow up questions. but now they keep talking to me about themselves and random stuff they think about life as if im their therapist \*rolls eyes\*. i hate being bombarded with this info and on top of that they never ask ME anything at all! its literally like they do not have the capability to listen to me lol. they asked me twice how to pronounce my name on separate occasions and still mispronounced it. i eventually stopped correcting them but after a couple months i guess they heard other people pronouncing it the right way so they started too. im really annoyed by this bc i obviously have my own problems and i dont want to hear about theirs all day (plus i need to have time to do work lol)
3 comments
Start giving them bad advice and intentionally misremembering things they tell you
So tell them you are not interested, their oversharing is making you uncomfortable and you feel like the relationship is not equal.
If they they’re trying to put you in the role of a therapist, act like a therapist and communicate your boundaries.
They’re using you, but probably not aware of it. You’ve demonstrated willingness to listen, so they’re just coming to you for those good feels they get from venting, thinking you must be getting something out of it too. Some people really struggle to know when they’re burdening someone. Make it obvious that you’re not enjoying it. Look bored, annoyed, answer abruptly, have a list of excuses “sorry, very busy right now”, “gotta go to bathroom”, etc.