Hi everyone – hope you’re all having a good day, i’ve just come here to vent/look for advice.
I was raised Ultra Orthodox Jewish, with a very, very strict view of sex – but recently, I haven’t been able to contain my desire for it. Yet I still feel incredibly guilty over masturbating, and even having sex dreams even though I have been told that there’s nothing wrong with either. Afterwards i’ll think i’m ”bad” and that i’m a bad person, that I have somehow failed.
Any idea on how I deal with this?
6 comments
This is something that is natural and you shouldn’t feel bad about. Many years of strict religious upbringing will be hard to overcome, might have to consider counselling. Just remember, it isn’t wrong and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.
You can also look at it within the religion (IDK how much that still matters to you), consider this: sex is a part of life. As in sex is needed to conceive a baby. But not just sex. Also orgasms. The male orgasm is kindof obvious, but studies show that a woman orgasming around the time the man ejaculates increases the chances of impregnation.
Also sex is a normal part of expression of love between a husband and wife.
Finding out what you like, what gets you to cum, what helps you relax and enjoy is helping you prepare for married life.
Even is conception is the only acceptable goal for sex (as some orthodox jewish people believe), having sex only when you are ovulating can raise your stress levels and decrease the chances of you getting pregnant.
Getting over religious guilt is hard. Try to unpack why masturbating and sex dreams (or premarital sex) would be prohibited in that culture and approach it from there
Religion is entirely by choice. To say you’re “ultra” anything should give pause. Nobody should be ultra devoted to anything without question. Nothing is perfect, especially religion. Sex is just a thing. It leads to other things and has little to nothing to do with religion.
There is nothing to be ashamed of or worry about. If you have a moral or religious conviction against sex before marriage then by all means you hold onto your values, because once you do it the virginity is gone forever. You can always lose it, but you can never get it back. Masturbating to relieve some urges is perfectly normal.
I’m super religious too. I felt bad about it but you’ve got to come to terms with the fact that we’re human and humans are sexual beings. Don’t try to surpress your feelings. As long as you have controll over your mind, that’s all you need.
I was raised the same… Felt that same guilt
I get over it getting off religion and thinking all of them are the same, i respect them but with the huge difference that absolutely nothing about sex is bad if you don’t hurt feelings to others..
If you have to share a room with a friend, it would be the same if you are horny and you masturbate inside the bed, outside or in front of her/him if you are completely sure she/he is sleeping
Nothing is wrong with you, don’t blame yourself for thing they adoctrinate you as a child. Find it out by yourself…
Sorry my english