I’m 27F he’s 30M, we have sex literally just once a week, that’s fine but I’M ALWAYS THE ONE ASKING FOR IT..or if he does ask for it, it will be just a quickie, he finishes and it’s done! Nothing for me! And I’m so frustrated….I don’t know what to do anymore and I feel like crying, well maybe because in a week I’ll get my period (sorry TMI) but I’m so tired of always getting a no from him when I do ask! There was never a time he asked for sex and I said no…NEVER! And I feel so used and unwanted and I feel so sad for myself, I’m giving myself the strength to say “No” next time, but not because I want a revenge but I want to do it for myself because I honestly feel so bad and sad that I never had a say to our sex life, he used me whenever he liked and I would always be down, and made him satisfied all the time when we do it..but nothing really for me, I never ever orgasmed and he never even tried and ask what I want. But now I just want to say “No”, I feel like I don’t want him to touch me right now, I love this man so much and he’s such a great husband but when it comes to sex it’s all just HIM HIM, what about me? My needs? Now I’m left here crying. I’m so sorry for this rant, I just really want to let this out.
UPDATE: I told him AGAIN This morning about what I’ve been feeling and even showed him my post here and well, he said sorry, he really did look sorry, and later on in the day he all of a sudden went to me and started kissing me hard, and kept asking me what I want, I said no, and trust me, I really did say no, and was even pushing him away, but he kept kissing me, pressing me down hard, but I gave in and we ended up making the best sex we’ve had so far, he asked what l wanted while doing it too, like “is this what you want?” Damn…In a hot way too, ughhh. While doing the things I wished for him to do to me. I’m so happy now lol. I hope it continues… he was really sorry tho, and he promised he would try, and damn HE REALLY DID TRY, did things that I never even expected him to do, and kept asking me about the things I wanted. BUT, lol. He’s so tired after hahahahaha and I was too 😂 we’re probably not going to have sex again for a week because of this, but damn, I don’t care, it was all worth it. He asked if I enjoyed it, and said that he’ll do more of that but maybe once or twice a week because it made him tired and even I was lol. I agreed, as long as it’s as good as that 😂❤️ Thank you! ❤️ It was also so cute earlier because he left his laptop on when he left for work which he often does when he leave and I’m always the one fixing his things then I saw that he’s been searching on how to make his wife feel good in sex and I appreciate that so much ❤️ THANK YOU GUYSSS! I really appreciate your comments.
15 comments
I’m sorry that you are going through this i hope you get laid more or maybe you should look elsewhere if you have no choice
Have you told him exactly what you have written here?
there is nothing wrong with someone not being in the mood or the sort and saying ‘no’ to sex but this isn’t what is happening here.
He is a terrible and selfish lover. He doesn’t care about you in the bedroom and treats you like a sex toy. It’s not right and you shouldn’t put up with anyone who treats you like that.
I’m very sorry this is happening to you.
Have you tried talking to him about this?
That’s a frustratingly low libido. All you can do is communicate to him him your need for more.
Why did you marry him?
Try communicating to him how this makes you feel and if he is unwilling to change then bye boy
Make him realize what he’s missing out on. Try something different. Spice things up somehow. Communication could be key if there is not much of it. Find out what he likes, it could be something you never thought of doing or he’s afraid to say. Be spontaneous porn, toys dirty talk or dress up. Wake him up with his d in your mouth. I’m sure you can make it work. Good luck and I hope it works out.
I was with my non existent libido wife until we were in our low 40s. I told her as diplomatically, and as often as I could that my needs were not being met. She didn’t care. It built up so much resentment. She resented me because I always wanted it, and she said she felt bad turning me down all the time. I resented her for never putting in any effort, & never initiating.
By the end, we were having sex once every 3 months, and neither of us enjoyed it.
I now have an amazing girlfriend, we talk about sex a lot, but do it even more. We are so happy because we match on every level.
Talk to your husband and let him know how important a healthy sex life is. If he’s not interested in trying to fulfil your needs, then you are not in for a happy life if you stay together.
At face value he sounds like a very selfish, self-centred man, yet you say he is a great husband. Normally, I would expect a selfish man sexually is just a selfish man in general. So, this sounds a bit incongruous. Does he just have a problem with sex? Is he just not that bothered? That might explain the quickies. You say he initiates but won’t let you initiate. Is he controlling the agenda and only offering duty sex on a minimal, periodic basis?
Asking for sex is like asking someone if they want to buy a vacuum cleaner. No, not now, maybe later. But to sell a vacuum you don’t ask them anything, you show them how great it works, how easy it is to operate, how quite it sounds… make them want that damn vacuum so bad they ASK you to buy it. Same with sex, get sexy, walk around in underwear, bend over, let them see you and then slip into the bedroom to use the vibe. Make him want to do you instead of the vibe. The point is people want what they can’t have… make sex rare… do yourself a favor and do yourself for a while.
SAME HERE. (Saying no to me whenever I ask) that’s when I stop asking. It makes me insecure sexually when I’m rejected
You’re probably 80 % of women who orgasm only through clitoral stimulation fingers but mostly tongue.
Google and print out orgasm situations for women, how 80 percent never cum in penetrative sex. Find a non-sexual situation, Saturday morning in a park, coffees carried far away from listeners and have a serious talk. He’s totally uneducated had probably had women lying to him that they orgasmed to penetrative sex to make him feel good.
If that doesn’t work, you may have to hire a session with a sex counselor.
It’s normal
If it’s always been this way it is unlikely to change. It’s a bummer.
I wish my wife would ask for sex, ever….
Same. It’s frustrating. I gave up trying to start it by being physically. I just straight up ask for it. Saves me the time of getting close to him just to hear him asking “what do you want?” We went from having sex several times a week to once or twice a month. His sex drive just went out the window and I can tell I’m getting more and more frustrated. I got myself a few toys to make up for it and that’s ok.